DEALn' with it!

33 WEEKS!

2010-07-12T23:06:00.003-05:00

This is week 33! Feeling ready to be at week 39! We have some fun events planned in the next few weeks. We are trying to make lots of special Lillyan time and memories!

Side note: I've decided I want to run a half marathon. Will be training for a 5k as soon as the Doctor will let me! Thought I would post that here for a little accountability!

31 weeks and counting!

2010-07-02T12:49:00.003-05:00

Baby boy Deal is growing, growing, growing! He is SO stinkn' strong! I am afraid we have a soccer player on our hands. LOL! He doesn't move too much, but when he does, I usually jump because of the force he puts behind his movements. Lillyan moved a lot... she was like a hamster on a wheel (all movement, all the time) but this little man is just so strong when he moves... it's a little humorous. I kinda looks like I have turrets or something. My kids laugh at me. Lilly has been known to tap me on the shoulder and say, "You're okay mommy, you're okay." She's a hoot!

So the Dr. at my last appt. said that she could induce me as early as August 23rd. This made me pretty happy. Since Lillyan was induced, and it's what I know and what I am familiar with, I was pumped to hear that my Dr. is willing to do it again. Of course I have to state the fact that NOTHING about this pregnancy has gone "my way" so I am not 100% banking on this induction business. I know God gets to be in control of this and not Kara, but I can still hope and dream. :)

My sweet friends here at High Plains are throwing us a baby shower. It's July 18th and I am super excited to see all of my friends. It's always a cool thing to have all of your worlds meet. My old church friends, my new church friends, my old work friends and my new work friends... all in the same house! I only wish my family could come. Luke's Grandma and Aunts may be able to be there, but my sister and mom won't get to be there. That makes me a little bummed... but I am sure the day will be filed with so many good memories that I will hardly notice their absence. It will be neat to see what blessings our son will get that day! Luke and I are so glad we got gender neutral stuff the first go around so that we don't have to register for so much stuff this time! Our packn'play, car seat, stroller and swing are all still in great shape! Our sweet friends gave us their crib to use for baby boy, and we already have it set up in our room. Lilly took a nap in it! LOL! She was excited to sleep in "baby Brother's bed."

Well... I hope to be "on top of it" enough to put a picture up every week until baby comes. We shall see..

PICTURES... it's been awhile.

2010-05-27T23:01:00.005-05:00

Lilly wearing a tank top that belongs to Pre'sious as a "pretty dress." Is it just me, or does it look like she's trying to swagger down a runway? Hahahahaha!

These are in reverse order (I hate that blogger does that) but here she is giving me a present.

Here she is bringing me my present.

And here she is picking my present. Sweet girl.

She had a small phase where she WOULD NOT take off her "pretty dress." Not even to sleep at night. Praise the Lord the fights over the tu-tu are gone! She cracks us up!

I must have forgotten to rotate the pictures, sorry. Here she is on Daddy's shoulder enjoying an Accapella concert. She did great!

Here is some more of our Portland trip. On this day we went to Seaside and her and Nan have a knack for finding carousel's. They are big buds!

These two pictures are proof that it is hard to get 2 two year olds to sit still while they are together. When I was in Washington, I got to have lunch with a great high school friend. Lillyan and Lilliana (sp?) had a great time playing together and Vanessa and I enjoyed lunch!

Two classic faces! This picture really tells the story about their personalities! LOL!

Lilly chilln' with the baby polar bears at the Oregon Zoo.

The only horseback riding this prego lady can stand.

Oh, how she loves this umbrella! It's the best present EVER! Thanks Nan!!

Still learning how to use it!

Yes, that is a swimsuit with a tu-tu over it, thank you! And Yes, she loves her sparkle bear!

It's just too funny... I had to post another picture! Oh.... she makes me giggle!

Boy, oh, boy!

2010-04-24T23:08:00.001-05:00

We are having a BOY!

August 28th, 2010 is the expected day of his arrival!

Yeah, GOD!

Before I knew him...

2010-04-18T21:46:00.002-05:00

Before I knew him I was in search of something real. He is real. He helps me know Who is real.

Before I knew him I was full of insecurities. He is secure. He helped guide me to Whom security comes from.

Before I knew him I had faith. He lives his faith. He continues to encourage me to live out my faith.

Before I knew him I was seeking to please others. He seeks goodness and justice. He encourage me to balance my people pleasing with a God centered foundation.

Before I knew him I was young and crazy. He is young and wise. He doesn't ask me to change, but to be challenged.

Before I knew him I thought I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. He has never known what he wanted to be when he grew up. He and I are on an adventure of finding out what God asks of us and now we know Who's we want to be while we grow up together.

Before I knew him I dreamed of a family. He asked me to be his family. He and I have our own little (growing) family.

Before I knew him I could only imagine what a wonderful, Godly man would be like. He is Wonderful. He is Godly.

Before I knew him... I knew I would know when I found him.

Love you Lukie! Thank you Lord for allowing me the pleasure of knowing him!

Baby Deal #2 and Potty #1 news

2010-03-13T15:00:00.003-06:00

We find out if we are having a boy or a girl on April 20th! YAY!

Throwing up-ness has stopped. Energy levels are high. Indigestion is a killer as of late. Lilly is starting to notice my tummy more often. My tummy has a for real baby bump, but those who don't know me well may still think I just need to lose a few pounds... or that I am really creepy for wearing maternity clothes. LOL!

Lillyan is potty training. I have really cute pictures and video, but have decided to not put them on the internet. There are serious creepster's out there and when she is 16, she will hate my stinkn' guts if there are pictures of that available. I love my kid. She is AWESOME!

So she is getting the hang of the tee-teeing on the big girl potty. She is an awesome learner! And she likes chocolate. We have been giving her left over Valentine's chocolate (the kind from the heart boxes) when she tee-tee's. And today she said, "chocolate please Mommie?" I told her only after she goes tee-tee in the potty, and she went and sat on the potty. She did not tee-tee but a little later, when she was washing her hands, she told me, "No tee-tee, no chocolate." Her voice was so sad and disappointed. It took everything I had not to give her one anyway.

She is also learning her letters. She recognizes them everywhere we go and likes to point them out! I swear she's a genius! She is so fun to watch learn and grow! She will be a rockn' big sister. I bought her a big sister shirt to wear on "the big day." It will be fun for her to wear even before baby is here... and she says, "big sister" so well!

Okay, enough bragging about my daughter. My heart is just so full of love for her and I am getting a little sad that it will no longer be just her anymore. Don't get me wrong... totally love that we are about to be a bigger family... but all I know right now is the three of us. And I love what I know!

Thank you Jesus!

2010-03-04T23:14:00.003-06:00

No, I am not talking about pregnancy or Lillyan today. I am talking about the AWESOMENESS of our God. Thank you Jesus!

Luke and I are honored to be able to be involved four very special people's lives. We are house parents (foster parents) in a transitional living home for kids who are transitioning from teenage/high school to.... dum, dum, dum.... the real world. HARD STUFF! Both for us and for them. Not only have I gained so much appreciation for my own parents (and what I put them through), insight for later years with our kids, and wisdom that comes in gray hair form. But I have also been able to grow to respect and appreciate what God goes through, EVERY second of EVERY day with his own children (young or old). Of corse... my experience is just a tiny scale compared to what the Almighty gets to handle every day. Thank you Jesus!

One of our teenagers has really come around. This young man who is reserved, untrusting, a little scary (to me) at times, immature, irresponsible in most areas of life, and just kind of hard to get along with has changed! And I have no doubt it is all because of Jesus. Thank you Jesus!

He trusts Luke and I and has really opened up his life and world to us. He is maturing into his age (19) very well and trying (mostly succeeding) to think through his choices so that he will make good ones. He is still struggling with finding a job, but is very capable of keeping one... once one is found. He has started to do his chores without being asked. He doesn't fight with us or ignore us when asked to do something out of his routine. He is understanding, more and more, the way relationships are a give and take thing... not just a, "what can I get from you?" thing. His grades are SO MUCH BETTER! He is going to his classes! When he cooks dinner, he is concerned about if I will be able to eat it and asks my opinion of what I want because he knows I have struggled with food during my first trimester (this is SO out of character for him). His fuse is longer and when he is upset, he is over it that day, not days later. He is just really getting it! Thank you Jesus!

I know, without one single doubt, that Luke is SUCH a great example to him. I know that this relationship that we have with him will be one that lasts forever. And my Foster Momma heart is so, so proud of him! THANK YOU JESUS!

Official Due Date and cute Lilly story

2010-02-22T00:45:00.002-06:00

We had a sonogram a week and a half ago. We were not as far along as we had hoped. But we are still having a baby, so I guess it all evens out in the wash, right? :)

Our due date is August 28, 2010.

Yup... End o' summer baby!

Anyway... we took Lilly with us to the sonogram and she sat with her Daddy. When the tech lady put the jelly/gooey stuff on my belly, Lillyan became a little concerned. Then when the lady put the sonogram do-hickey thing on my belly, Lilly started saying, "Mommie.... Mommie!" She was so concerned. She wasn't screaming or anything, but her voice had such concern and an uneasy-ness to it. It was super cute. Luke and I tried to get her to look at the screen to see the baby, but she wanted down to get closer to me. Luke let her down and she stood right by my side, just looking and taking everything in. She is such a sweet and tender hearted little girl. I.LOVE.her.SO.much!

We have been saying our prayers at night with her. She does so well doing the 'repeat after Mom or Dad' prayers. But when we say thank you for the baby in Mommie's tummy, she usually says, "thank you for Mommy's tummy," or, "thank you for baby's tummy." So we aren't sure she really gets what is going on. She will kiss my tummy when asked to kiss the baby, but the other night she kissed Luke's tummy and then said, "I kiss daddy's baby!" HAHAHAHAHA! She was so proud of herself too!

She has time to get it, but it's cute how clueless she is right now! She is so stinkn' CUTE!

Not mad anymore!

2010-01-28T18:35:00.003-06:00

I am happy to announce that I am not mad anymore! I am still sick, but drugs and wrist bands have proven to keep me happier these days!

This week is (supposedly) 12 weeks and I am so glad it went by fast!

Mom and Dad were here and that was AWESOME! More caring hands to help with Lilly. It was kind of a bummer because they came for a two year old party and she got sick, so we ended up calling off the party. :( But her having great Nan and Papa time was priceless!

I finally made her Two-two (tu-tu) and we will be going to get her picture taken this next week! That should be fun. She can be so shy around new people... but I hope some great pictures can be caught anyway! Who would have ever guessed that i would have a shy child?! Luke's not even that shy, so I have no clue where she gets it!

Maybe her Auntie Dani........

Here's the skinny....

2010-01-21T15:59:00.002-06:00

So, since Luke and I had trouble getting pregnant with Lillyan I figured we would always have trouble getting pregnant. Even though my Dr. and others told me this wasn't always the case, I just like being stubborn and living in my own world... I apparently.

I did not pay attention to my cycle because I did not think I would need to... this has proven to be a big mistake because we have no clue how long I have been preggo! My Dr. is guessing I am 11 weeks and in two weeks (or so) I will have a sono that will help us know better! IF I am 11 weeks, then Baby will be here August 7, 2010. A summer baby.... in Amarillo, Texas. Holla at me if your pickn' up what I'm layn' down here folks! Anyway......

I feel like poo.

You read that correctly, poo. So my patience is thin, my activity level is low, and my barf flows freely! I was crying the other night in Luke's arms... because I HATE feeling like poo (wouldn't you?) and I backed up all of a sudden and then made a B-line for the toilet. Yup. I can't even CRY without spewing! So I have resolved to be mad! It's the only emotion that doesn't make me puke.

So... 11 weeks (maybe) into pregnancy #2 and I am a mad Mommy. Not to be confused with madd. Just mad!

There's your update!

Another one's a coming!

2010-01-07T23:31:00.002-06:00

We are having another Baby!

So, needless to say this blog will not be about weight loss for a while! You can expect more baby to be and Lillyan updates!

Don't know a due date... or anything really! Just know the home tests said yes, Luke and I are in shock, and I am ready to puke (morning sickness, not because of shock)!

Love you all!

Hola!

2009-11-07T19:27:00.002-06:00

I started out this week going to the gym three times in a row! I knew I would be out of town on Wednesday night, planned on going to the gym on Thursday - didn't end up going, and had a back problem Friday and Saturday. A serious back problem. SERIOUS.

So I am glad I went the first 3 nights this week! Nutrition classes went well. I feel more informed, just still trying to put it into practice all the time.

I did learn something interesting that I want to share. I learned that if you have the munchies, you are 98% of the time dehydrated. Being dehydrated makes you crave fat. So this helped me with my drinking water problem. I hate it when I self sabotage at the end of the day because I have the munchies, and this makes me want to make sure I drink my water!!! Only, they say you have to sip on water all day long for it to be effective, you can't just sit down and drink it all in a few hours. That's still hard, but worth it for no more munchies! :)

Hope that little tidbit helps you like it did me!

Lovies, KK

Still kickn'!

2009-10-26T01:09:00.002-05:00

My accountability here is still important to me in my weight loss journey and that is why I am excited to tell you some news. The gym that we are so fortunate to be a part of is AWESOME and offers tons of programs to help with accountability and so on and so forth. So there was this questionnaire thingy that I filled out and the results came back and surprise, surprise... nutrition is the thing I struggle with the most. So there are some nutrition classes available and I go to my first one tomorrow night! I am so excited for this!!! But I also hope that I don't come away feeling overwhelmed. I have started praying that I would be a sponge and that all I sponge up will be retained as well as USED! SO EXCITED!

And the guy who went over my questionnaire scores with me helped me with a new work out routine. I am now lifting weights in a cardio circuit. It is hard enough for me to do, so I won't really attempt trying to explain it, but all I have to say is.... it ROCKS! The 3 times I have done it, I feel like I have lost the same amount of weight I lost the whole 4 weeks I have been working out before! The idea is to concentrate on building up more muscle mass first and then once my body fat is down, I will go back to tone weight training. But because sitting muscle burns more calories than exercised fat, it's important to start training your body to crave muscle. I am to do the cardio circuit lift 3x's a week and then do some type of cardio three other times a week. Like walking outside with my family, or playing basketball with my foster kids. So that's all very exciting and DOable! :)

Now... prayers for the nutrition class and to implement it in my tiny family and extended foster family, would be greatly appreciated! Love you all! SO, so much!

A break from the work out routine!

2009-10-15T13:15:00.002-05:00

Yes, I am still going to the gym three times a week. This is no lie! I am also drinking more water... more and more everyday! I want to go and get some water bottles at Wal-Mart to always have some ready in the fridge. Not the plastic disposable kind... I am way more orange than that! But the sports bottle type! I think I have also decided that I need to feel guilty about eating crispy chicken burgers. But I can't let my guilt over come me and make me feel defeated! I haven't had one since last week... but I crave em like they are going out of style!

Anywho... my intention on this entry is not to talk about weight or how I am doing on losing it!

I want to talk about God. I have been blessed to be in a small group type class on Wednesday nights and I have had a break through people! We are reading a book and then attempting a different spiritual discipline, of sorts, every week. This last week we focused on the love chapter in I Corinthians. And can I just tell you how the holy spirit helped me pin point a burden I have been carrying for a long time, and then he helped me into some freedom-ness! I can? Well GOOD! Get ready for some serious God stuff!

So... over the last month we have been going through he chapters in the book and I have slowly realized that I was living my life as if there was this great big check list in the sky that I was trying to complete every day! And when I hadn't completed it... I had let down God in some fashion and He lost an ounce of love for me. I know it sounds crazy out loud, because I know better! I can't even describe to you how weird it is for me to admit this! If anyone approached me and told me that they were living this way... I would sit them down and try to explain God's grace and mercy to them. But here I was... trying to check off the check list!

I also came to understand where it was coming from. Luke and I had a huge and profound loss in our family in February. Our cousin died at the young age of 12. It just doesn't make sense to me. I don't know that it ever will. But to cope with this loss... I started to try and please God in every way imaginable in hopes that HE would love me enough, see that I was trying, and that I was good so that i would never have to go through that pain again. Either from another loss in our families, or even my own loss of a child. And this is crazy to me too... because if anyone had ever accused me of thinking that Ron and Nan had done anything to deserve the death of their child... I would have at least slapped the crap out of them... if not gone to jail for murder! Seriously! Ron and Nan are some of the greatest, loving, and God fearing people I know and I hate that my thoughts and actions on the matter even suggested such a thing! But none the less... I was stuck in this good and faithful servant type mode in hopes that nothing bad would ever happen to me.

So this last week we were to go over the love chapter and meditate on it in different ways. And I kept being struck by, "keeps no record of wrongs." When I finally started mentally journaling about it, there was this moment of clarity where I realized that God IS love. And if HE keeps no record of wrongs... the where was this list I felt so compelled to check off?

Hello! I was keeping my own record of wrongs! (It just seems so obvious now!) PErfect love keeps no record of wrong! PRAISE THE LORD for HIS perfect love! If I am asked to love others, then I really need to apply that to myself too, right? RIGHT!

I cannot tell you how freeing that moment was! I feel like myself again. I realized I had been one huge Eyor (from Whinnie that Pooh) in word and deed for the last 8 months. Feeling so much pressure and having little joy in life! But my normal personality is so Tigger-ish! And Tigger is back baby! And jumping higher than ever!

Thank you, Jesus, for your perfect love! I pray you all know the good and beautiful God! He is mighty to save! Save us from ourselves!!!!!

food

2009-10-08T18:22:00.004-05:00

Yesterday:

no breakfast

Lunch - Subway sandwich, some cheetoes, sweet tea.

Dinner - Schlotski's turkey sandwich, some jalapeno tater chips, sweet tea, some of Lillyan's cookie (like three bites).

popcorn as a snack in the evening and LOTS of water last night. So not joking!! I basically put my bed in the bathroom!

No work out

Thursday (today):

no breakfast.... oh, that's a lie. I had one oats and honey nature valley bar out of a two pack. I shared with Emily.

Lunch - Crispy chicken burger and half of my fries from Red Robin. ranch dip, of course, and sweet tea.

Dinner - not too hungry, half of a cheese burger that Lukie made. grape coolaid and some tater tots.

Work out: elliptical for 32 min! YIKES!

I don't really feel guilty about the crispy chicken burger cuz I have been working out so much! I hardly snack and when I get the munchies at night I remember from weight watcher's that popcorn is one of the best snacks for you! :)

Quick drop in!

2009-10-06T21:40:00.002-05:00

so... I am still working out! I did it three times last week! I had planned on 4, but Luke and I had a miscommunication. And so far this week, I have been to work out once. But it is still all on schedule: Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday evenings. I didn't get to the gym this last Sunday night, but that's all gravy! I'm not really pushing myself too hard. I did a mile on Saturday and then on Sunday I was so sore and felt like I had arthritis in my hips. That was no fun, but it WAS fun laughing at how I was walking!!!

Food... is getting better, there is now ay I can document all that I have had and I am NOT going to let a week go by again without writing what I have eaten! But I have not been eating out near as much. With our job, we can plan on eating out at least once a week. Luke and I are (don't laugh) trying to only eat out three more times a week. This is a HUGE thing for us! and with the money saved in our budget, I will be getting new running shoes. Desperately needed! Part of my right foot goes numb the last 5 min. or so of my work out. Not cool, but if it's not fixed with new shoes, I might need to go get my back adjusted.

Happy... life-ing!

Trying to remember...

2009-09-27T20:20:00.004-05:00

So Wed. night one of my foster girls said she didn't like spagetti, so we made something else. IT has an offical name, but it's not coming to me right now. It was veggie pasta, steamed veggies and velveta cheese. it was yum-o! and we had a fruit salad and raw yellow peppers. Yum-o again! No work out.

Thursday I had 1 and a half grilled cheese and tomato soup with tea and water for lunch. no breakfast this day. then the sojourner's fed us pizza and fruit salad and lemonade. Then I went to the gym and couldn't really get my energy up enough to do 20 min. of cardio, so I only did 15. Then I remembered someone sometime in my life telling me that lifting weights burned more calories, so I did ALL of the arm machines and two leg machines. Then I did this cruch machine that is... KILLER! HAd two bottles of 24 oz. water and bed time!

Friday I had leftover Wed. night pasta and water for lunch. Small helping, but very filling. No breakfast (I realize that this statement is out of order, but you are getting my brain here... no excuses for that! :)) Friday night Luke got McDonald's for him and the kids and I made a tortilla turkey wrap thingy. One whole wheat tortilla with a light layer of ranch dressing, turkey (97% fat free) and lots of lettus! Then I made brownies while Luke and the kids were at the high-school football game. I only had one corner... I had to make sure they weren't poisonous! :P

Saturday, 2 doughnuts plain for breakfast. Lunch was a chicken quesadilla made for me by my precious Pre'sious who moved out on this day. :( But the food she makes is AWESOME! Water to drink! Then I had a Sonic Sweet Tea and chicken and rice for dinner. Not like my mommy makes, but a Luke "thrown together" recipe. and it was GREAT! Cream of mushroom soup (the healthy request kind) Cream of chicken, min. rice and sweet peas. Also baked chicken and very little butter. HE rocks my socks off when it comes to cooking! Gotta love a man that is awesome in the kitchen (back off girls... he's taken!)

Today, goldfish for breakfast with Lilly (I know, great example, right!?!?! We were late for church and ya gotta do what ya gotta do!) Turkey sandwich for lunch with chips. Shared a very small portion of banana pudding with Lilly (and when I say "shared" I mean... she had two or three bites. She wasn't feeln' it like Mommy was!) Worked out a total of 40 min and then lifted weights... not nearly as much as last time. That crunch machine is kicking my hiney! I am still sore from the last time, but I did it again tonight! And came home to three pieces of pizza and root beer. Oops!

I didn't always mention it, but I AM drinking at lest one 24 once bottle of water a day... I just need to make it more!

I know these are boring for ya'll to read. But this IS really helping me! So if you read it or not... there are more boring food and work out posts to come! I can tell a difference in my energy level, but not so much in my fitting of the pants. I'm sure that is just around the corner!

Love you all, thank you for your support! I REALLY appreciate it! You have NO IDEA!

Fair time!

2009-09-23T16:50:00.002-05:00

I did so much better than I thought I would!

We walked around for two and half hours... that was my only exercise, but let me tell ya... my back and feet were so tired by the end!

I had water, some sips of Luke's Dr. Pepper and a taco thingy. Then Luke and I shared some funnel cake but neither one of us could finish it off. I stopped eating it when it didn't taste yummy any more... so like bite #12 or something. Then we got these yummy roasted pecan's.

I know it may sound silly, but i have been in mindless mode for so long that just acknowledging that I could stop eating something before it was gone is like, a huge thing! Two weeks ago, I would have just gone until the whole thing was gone and then thought about getting another one! No joke.

Before we got there I knew I was going to have water because I can for sure cut back on calories with that alone. Then I knew I wanted to get a funnel cake and those pecans. I looked the calories up on line and they weren't near as bad as I thought they would be... and they are yummy! The taco thingy I h ad was super spicy hot, so this is why I had to get a few gulps of Dr. Pepper! My water wasn't cutting up the spice very well.

The free petting zoo part of the fair was SO FUN! Lillyan loved petting the sheep, dear, goats, and horse's. She called all of them puppies. It was cute. We didn't ride any rides, but Luke and I both spent more money than we should have trying to win Lilly a monkey. In the end, she got it, and hasn't let it our of her sight since! She was so happy about it... she kept saying, "Monkey!" (which sounds a lot like munkee)

Today, Lilly hasn't felt well today. We shared a baked potato for lunch. And I am making a healthy version of spaghetti for dinner tonight! Lots and Lots of WATER!!!!!!

This is exactly why I am doing this!!!

2009-09-22T15:49:00.002-05:00

So I hate that I have to write this down, it's gonna be hard to be honest... but I must.

So, I did eat the chicken pasta at Jason's Deli in Saturday night.

Sunday I ate a cereal bar for breakfast because I know it is important to eat breakfast and I NEVER do. But this helps get your metabolism going, and that is important. I also had a can of pepsi. For lunch we went to grandma's for taco's and I had three. no ice cream for dessert, even though I was really jonesn' for some. I had sweet tea to drink. Dinner, luke really wanted buffalo wild wings, so I ate like a total of 6 boneless wings and had root beer. Then a "girlie" craving hit and I had a brownie with ice cream on top, and it was delicious. needless to say I went to bed feeling horrible about my eating and without working out! Oh, I did have 24 ounces of water before I fell asleep... and was up peeing half the night! HA!

Monday I had another cereal bar and water for breakfast.

Lunch was 3 steak fingers at Dairy Queen. (I HATE TYPING THIS!!!!) and root beer.

At dinner with my husband, little girl and one of our foster girls I ordered the crab alfredo even though i wanted the soup and salad. Why did I do this? WHO KNOWS!!!!! But by the time the alfredo got to me, my conscience had settled in and I ate six bites. I had already had the pre dinner salad and three cheesy biscuits. I had another root beer and some of Luke's Dr. Pepper.

I got home with a large sweet tea in had from sonic. NO WORK OUT!

AAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHAAAAAA!

So I thought about just quitting with the whole new blog thing because I am so embarrassed. But then I thought about how this experience is suppose to help me be accountable to myself and if I am not honest about it all... then there will be no need for change. and if I quit, there will be no change ever!

So today I started out with no breakfast. Just water. Lunch I had 7 pieces of sesame chicken and one egg roll, LOTS of cantaloupe and cottage cheese. Root beer to drink.

Tonight we are going to the fair. I don't have a plan yet, but I will have one in 30 min. and will stick to it while I am there... purely because I know that I will be writing about it tomorrow!

Father, help me be a better servant to me!

Thanks for the love guys.... thanks so much! Old habits are SO hard to break!

The time has come...

2009-09-19T17:07:00.003-05:00

I have a new purpose for my blog.

This is a hard thing for me and I am way apprehensive about it all. So some support would be great. In fact, i am banking on support for this new purpose to work.

I am fat. No longer large, pure fat.

Whew... that was hard. This whole thing is hard. I need to lose weight, and I need accountability. I have tried on my own many times and my "trying" consists of thinking about it but never DOING anything about it.

Now, here is a list of things this new purposed blog is NOT:

1. A sob story.

I am not going to whine about how I got here. I am not going to give excuses why I'm not DOING the losing. But I am going to be honest about the facts. The first fact is I am so uncomfortable in my body that I can hardly move around in my own car without breathing hard or breaking into a sweat. This must stop!

2. A place for kinda large, skinny, or crazy people to talk about how fat they are.

If you aren't fat, please comment... but save me from puking all over you by talking about how you need to lose weight! Doesn't help. (FYI, when I say fat... I mean 50+ lbs. over weight)

3. A blog where I will boast and pat myself on the back for how much better I am than you. This is a personal struggle and simply a way for me to have accountability for myself that is outside of my husband and foster children. When I eat, and when I work out... I will be thinking about how X amount of people will be able to read about it, and I will (hopefully) make a good choice. Something has to change... and this is my drastic measure!

4. A place where YOU can make rude, nasty, hurtful comments.

I will delete you. PERIOD! But please fill free to encourage, give helpful suggestions and lots of lots of LOVE!!!! :)

And the most uncomfortable thing, the most humbling part is the picture I have to post. I don't know my exact weight, when I find that out, I will post it. But I am in a size 20 and won't stop until I am in a size 14 (I was a 12 in high school).

So... here we go!

I ate:

Veggie personal pizza @ Schlotzsky's and a large tea

1 - 24 oz. bottle of water

Worked out:

271 calories burned on elliptical in 25 min.

75 calories burned on bike in 15 min.

I haven't had dinner yet, but I am craving chicken pasta @ Jason's Deli. We will see!

A Quick Note

2009-05-18T17:15:00.003-05:00

Luke and I have been BUSY! We are now the full time house parents at High Plains Children's home... not relief. This means we work 3 weeks on and one week off. Luke worked both the pharmacy Tech job and being a house parent for the first week and a few days. That was crazy. We have been trying to move out of our house, into our apartment and run all kinds of errands while the kids are at school... this has proven to be an almost non existent task. Lillyan is the only one who has all of her things in our new home.

So life is crazy... but God is SO GOOD!

Love to all of you!

Picture Time

2009-03-27T12:13:00.008-05:00

Lillyan playing with her gifts from both sets of grandparents and having FUN with Daddy. The huge puppy is from Nan and Papa, and the tent is from Grandma and Grandpa. Thank you!

Still having a ball!

Our Lilly has a powdered sugar problem. In the form of doughnuts.

SO CUTE!

Her new thing is to put EVERYTHING she can in a laundry basket and the n sit on it. She even tried to get the rocking horse in there... but just being able to touch it was good enough for her.

Look at all her teethies!

Lilly got a new car seat and she loves the box it came in... not to mention loving the car seat!

This is what our camera does when you take the flash off. She looks like a ghost... or like she's drinking on the run.

Daddy and Lilly playing in her box house!

I couldn't resist! What a great Daddy!

I think maybe Lilly thought this was a laundry basket. She is really into sitting on/in things.

Giving Canada some love.

Love to all of you!

Stay at home Mommie

2009-03-20T18:04:00.005-05:00

It has been a great week! I have no job hanging over my head... just trying to get going with a new one, and Lillyan and I have been enjoying each other so much! I just need to post pictures from this last week... that would help you understand our fun filled days!

Cleaning... lots and lots of cleaning has been taking place in the Deal home. Schedules have been made, followed and rearranged! :P Organization is not in the distant future anymore... it is slowly creeping towards us! Budget has been made, updated and... FOLLOWED (praise the Lord Almighty!! no, seriously... this is a huge deal)! A bible study has been purchased... not started, but purchased. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Pressure has been released from my brain. I no longer feel defeated by my home.... well... I'm getting closer and closer to feeling this way. It has been a long time since I have felt peace like this. And even longer since I have felt like "me."

Being on staff at a church can really take the wind out of you. I guess I never knew I was so winded until this week. Accomplishing almost everything I have needed and wanted to do since moving in to our home (November 2006) in one week. wow. Where have I been?

So, I like this staying at home business. It suites my style. The best part... my new job allows me to do this two or three weeks out of the month! That is so crazy great! CRAZY GREAT I tell you! I will enjoy being with the kiddo's I will relief house parent for too! That week will help me hone in on my scheduling, organizing, budgeting, and loving on other's skills.

We serve an AWESOME God... and He has been so good to us.

**** I can't write that last sentence without thinking about Ron, Nan and the boys.****

Please continue to pray for our family. The loss of Connor hasn't healed... it is still very fresh and open and I am really struggling with how to support and love on Ron, Nan, Braden and Brennan. Any suggestions are welcome, but I am tired of people telling me what they need to be doing... so please steer clear of that area. That would be greatly appreciated.

Coupons!

2009-03-13T13:25:00.002-05:00

I want to be a good coupon-er. But I haven't the foggiest idea how to get the most out of my cut coupons. I need help.

I think i found a friend at church who is willing to let me follow her on her shopping days. This might help. I have found blogs about it... but it's like they are talking in code! It's kinda funny actually.

So... if you have any idea's...I'm open to 'em. I only request you speak english... not coupon-ese!

Life

2009-03-04T14:39:00.006-06:00

There is a TON of stuff going on around here. A ton.

So I'll start with the not so bueno news. Our sweet, sweet cousin, Connor, died on February 17. I have tried to type the specifics a few times and I just can't wrap my head around the fact that this has happened... so I will just leave it at that. We all miss him. Luke and I fell fortunate to live in the same town as Ron and Nan (Connor's parents) but its also extremely hard. Nan is my friend. One of my closest friends, and I hurt... so badly for her. I feel numb and I question everything I say, do and think around her. I just want to help them, but feel at a loss for where to start.

I, personally, wasn't able to fully feel the loss of Connor for days. I still find myself just crying and asking why. When rocking Lillyan, when fixing dinner, when trying to fall asleep and especially when I read the notes left on his caring bridge site. I really do wish that everyone would have had the chance to know him. He was SO special... so special. He got me and my silliness... we had fun together. I loved watching the boys when Ron and Nan went out of town. Connor and I would sit in the kitchen and eat, sing and talk. I just can't believe it. I don't know that I ever will.

Okay... now a much lighter topic!

I'm on my way to a new job!

But to tell you why, and to tell you what it is... I have to give some background.

Luke and I feel like God has asked more of us. More than what we are giving right now, more of our time, money, effort in reaching others and... well... just MORE! So we are on our path to being missionaries. We aren't 100% sure where we will end up but it looks like Australia or church planting in the Northwest somewhere. The only avenue we have sought after, right now, is Australia... because that seems like a huger leap of faith for us. (IS huger a word? No? It must be a Kara-ism.) But we are still praying about which direction we should go in... so please pray with us!

So I am currently a Children's minister at a wonderful church! I LOVE my church family and feel so blessed to call them friends. But Luke and i need more money from my income to reach some financial goals we have to be almost debt free when we go to Australia. We have a three year plan, but I will talk more about that later.

So I am in the process of trying to be a relief house parent for High Plains Children's Home. I would work one or two weeks a month until there is an opening for a set of house parents. Then Luke and I want to be house parent there. Luke is in the middle of getting his certification for being a pharmacy tech. and he will finish this to it's end. It's crazy because we've been waiting for this test so that Luke can get paid more money, but we have been waiting for this so that God can use it in our lives in Australia or in church planting.

I don't know how much information I will be revealing about all of this. We are trying to keep it pretty close to our chest because there are so many details that we don't know and don't know when we will know. But we do know that we want to do what God asks of us! We are through with doing what we want, and this is the beginning of a long, hard and rewarding journey!

Congrats if you made it this far! Later!

Connor Deal

2009-02-15T22:17:00.003-06:00

So.. you'll have to excuse me, I have been on "all things Connor Deal" mode as of late.

I have a website I would like for you to visit. Get acquainted with his story/illness and then PRAY!

I beg of you, if you believe in the power of prayer, believe in a sovereign God, and believe in miracle's... pray.

Thank you... love on your loved ones... you just never know what could happen next. This could have happened to anyone... but this is about Connor right now! Please pray, he's so precious... he's just 12.

Here's the site:

www.caringbridge.org/visit/connordeal

Christmas 2008

2009-01-26T18:42:00.008-06:00

Lilly loves sitting on her little stool... but this has nothing to do with Christmas.

Suzanne and I, with the help of Barbara, Natalie and other friends of my parents, threw a Surprise 40th Anniversary party. These are some of the decorations. It was a grand time!

SAME picture! I think it was suppose to be the table decorations, but I oops-ied. Oh, well!

Lilly met her uncle Hershey for the first time. Too bad she was sick and not her usual self.

Madalyn feeding Lilly. This is most likely when Madalyn "caught" the horrible case of the bathrooms we passed around!

Lilly rolling on/in a box after opening presents! We had such a long day and she was tired, and sick... but look at that beautiful smile on my sweet girl's face!

In true almost 1 year old fashion... loving the wrapping and bows more than the actual present!

Lilly and twin cousin Connor playing together.

Madalyn, so sweet, loved seeing what everyone got for Christmas! She was so excited for everyone. A very special and beautiful girl! I love me some Madalyn!

Lilly did great with the wrapping paper! Thanx Daddy for helping her learn how!

Lilly, in her outfit that Grandma made her, while carrying one of my purse's! She's so silly!

Grandma did a GREAT job on that Christmas outfit!

Christmas eve morning opening presents with Daddy and Mommy!

Bath toys!

More presents!!!

Lillyan's First Birthday parties

2009-01-09T22:42:00.005-06:00

Lillyan's first, first birthday party was with my family in Washington. My sister had her son, Connor, five days before we had Lilly... so we celebrated their birthday's together. I am so sad that I did not get any pictures of him at this party, but Suzanne got some great ones! So go see her blog to see how sweet, cute and different he is than our little Lilly girl. I have video with him in it, but my computer and I have been fighting with each other and the computer has won. I WILL figure out the video upload... just not tonight!

Sweet Lilly was so tired. She feel asleep shortly after this picture was taken. She was so tired she wasn't interested in eating any cupcake! She did have a few bites of the ice cream Red Robin gave her and Connor!

Us and Red Robin. She really liked him!

I wasn't very quick with my camera, so I had these girls pretend to sing to them again so I could get a picture... they were good sports about it! But Connor and Lilly both just stared at them when they came to sing Happy Birthday!

My sweet friend Nat and the birthday girl.

Mom and Dad at the birthday party! HEY! There's Connor in the back ground! I DID get a picture of the birthday boy! Isn't he a doll? SO SWEET! (Yes Malcolm... we see you!I don't know who's being so hands-y...ha, ha, ha! get it? HANDS-y! Malcolm????)

Okay... this is the three trash bags full and one medium sized box full of loot Lilly got at her Birthday party in Amarillo! It has been hard trying to figure out where to put all of her toys, but what a blessing to have so many new toys for our girl! We have decided to put some away and this summer we will get them out and she will be thrilled!

Okay, you have to look at the picture below this one first and then look at this one! They posted in the reverse order I wanted them to post!

She pulled out the toy phone and it went STRAIGHT to her ear and she said, "Hi!" in that sweet little voice of hers. Everybody cracked up laughing! She's a true girl, already talking on the phone, carrying a purse and wanting to get her hair done!

Never, NEVER, in my wildest dreams did I think so many people would come to a 1 year old's Birthday party! You can only see half of the people in this picture! It was packed! We are so blessed to have such wonderful family... blood relation and Church! Thank you for loving our Lilly girl!!!!!!!

She started out opening presents in this chair... it didn't take too long for her to find her Daddy's lap though! She kept wondering why everyone was staring at her and laughing. But she was the hit of the party, that's for sure!!!

She didn't want to try it, but after Grandma and Daddy helped her get into it, she LOVED it! YAY for cupcakes!

Lilly in her party dress, playing shy for the camera! What a handsome Daddy she has!

Auntie Dani helped me and Pamitty-Pam decorate! It was a cupcake theme!

Pamitty-Pam's dinning room all festive and cupcaked out!

Pink and brown cupcakes.... YUMMY!

I told Luke the other day that I am not going to blink anymore! I refuse to do it!! She has grown so quickly, and in a blink of an eye... my baby is 1! We love her so much and we are so blessed by her and proud of her.

Christmas pictures are to come soon! Love you guys!

2009-01-03T19:11:00.002-06:00

Lilly LOVES her puppy Maddie!

Our Lillyan turned one yesterday! We had her party today and it was AWESOME! I never, not in my wildest dreams, would have ever guessed that so many people would have come to celebrate a one year old's birthday! It was a blast!

She didn't know what to do with the cupcake. She just stared at it, and then ate the frosting. She got it in her hair and everywhere! It was the cutest.

She got a little cranky opening gifts, but I think all in all she had a good time! The pictures are from Christmas... her birthday party pictures from today and from when we partied up in Washing ton with the fam... will have to be put on the computer before I can put them on the blog. But here are some cute pictures anyway!

YAY for Lillyan being a year old!

Old pictures, not too old!

2008-12-17T15:57:00.004-06:00

Nan and Lilly. Mom and Dad were here in October for Lilly's Baby Dedication at church and these are mainly pictures from that weekend! They had lots of fun! We all had lots of fun!

This is the weekend that Lilly decided she wanted to walk! So Nan and Papa were here for a BIG milestone with Lilly! We were glad they were here for the excitement and fun!!!!

As cute as she can be!

That is some crazy hair! She must have had piggy tails that day. But don't you love the little basketball? She loves it too!

She also loves her little soccer ball! She often has them both in her hands.

I can't believe Mom got her to keep this hat on! She screams bloody murder when we try and put hats on her now... even if it's frickn' freezn'.

RANDOM! Really don't remember putting this picture in the mix... but I really don't want to do this blog over, so... Here is my bestest friend Krystole! YAY for friends!

Cutie Lilly at the baby dedication.

LOVES her taster! LOVES IT!

Awkward family picture time. Lilly looks super cute though.

Bath time, starring Cindy-Lu Who.

Our sugar bear all sweet and clean!

Ode to my phone

2008-12-01T18:18:00.005-06:00

Goodbye phone.
I am now all alone.

My heart you have taken, but at what cost?
Our connection is now forever lost!

My daughter, she loved you. She helped you escape.
She is too young for us to retaliate.

Your purdy shell, discolored and cracked.
It gave you such character, whack after whack.

Oh, how I miss the ear time we shared.
Laughing, crying... singing if dared.

Where could you be? Where did you run?
Come back and revisit our fun!

We'll get you a new body, and a spiffy ring tone.
Just come back, come back, COME BACK TO US PHONE!

In sweet memory of my phone. Lost November 17, 2008 Somewhere between our home and Walgreen's on Filmore in Amarillo, Texas.

When it rains...

2008-11-24T13:46:00.002-06:00

It STINKN' Pours!

I don't know why. I don't know how! I don't know when! But we ticked someone or something off, hard core, and now it's all falling in our lap!

It is STRESSFUL! With Lilly's head size thing looming over us and always in the back of our minds. With the loss of the cell phone and other "bad me" stuff that goes on with that. With trying to pay for getting to Washington, Lilly's head thing, actual Christmas and Lilly's first birthday! With realizing that we can not afford to live on a salary and a half and with the need for daycare. With my health always an issue (it seems) and paying for this, paying for that and still needing _______! I am just at my whits end!

Ever fell like you wish you could trade lives with someone, just for a day, or even an hour or two!?!?! I just want a break! Away from the worry. Away from the money (or lack there of) and away from the dumb mistakes that I made in the past that are right in my face every where I look!

I'm just having a day. Scratch that. I am having a MONTH! I don't feel very jolly and I don't feel very thankful. It's the truth. It's the raw, not so great to hear, not so great to share, not so great to realize... TRUTH!

I want to quit! I want to go to bed, pull the covers over my head and sleep. I don't really want anything else but sleep!

Fill me, somehow, O Lord with You. God, I want to want you! Please take away everything that is my selfish flesh and God, please fill me with You. Help us, oh, God! Hear your servants cry! Let us see the joy, let us have the spirit of thanks giving. Let us have Your love! But most of all Lord, I pray for Your peace. Please bless us with Your peace, so that we may be about Kingdom business, and not our own ways. Lift this burden and let us see the things of eternal value! We love you! AMEN.

It's Normal

2008-11-13T14:32:00.003-06:00

The CT scan came back normal! YAY! Praise the Lord. They are asking us to go back Dec. 10th to measure her head again. If it still has "too much growth" then they will do an MRI, where they will need to sedate her. Please pray now, that our Little Lillyan's head doesn't "grow too much" by Dec. 10.

Thank you for your prayers and thank you for your friendship! I do... love and covet you all! And my dear, dear friend Angela... I love you and have had your sweet baby girl in my prayers for months! You are so strong and so dearly loved! I try to tread lightly because I know that your situation is one hundred million billion times different than our CT scan, and I don't want to compare apples and oranges... scratch that... apples and watermelons. But I can't even begin to put myself in your shoes after the last 72+ hours I have had. Let's just say that my prayers for you and your family are MUCH more different now! I love you sister... I love you so much! Thank you for your strength and encouragement.

If you do not know about my friend Angela and her sweet Hadley bug. Visit her site (link on the right) and become a prayer warrior for them!

Quick Prayers!

2008-11-11T14:24:00.003-06:00

So Lillyan has a CT scan tomorrow. Her head is still measuring too big for her height and weight. The Doctor doesn't think it should be anything because she is so advanced in her skill learning and she's not losing any skills. AND... this one cracks me up... the Doctor looked at me and told me she could see that a big head could be in her jeans. HA! Not only do I have a large head... but a pound and a half of hair to go with it!

So... please pray for our Lilly girl.

9 month pictures!

2008-10-29T17:17:00.002-05:00

Her shirt says, "Jesus Loves Me!" Thank you Grandma Deal for the awesome t-shirt!!!

Crawling, so cute!

This is the best one, I think. She is always making this face.

I'm not a huge fan of me in this picture, but Lilly is doing what she does best... being a cutie patootie.

She does this a lot too!

Love, love, LOVE this picture! But you can't see her face so I didn't get one of these. Her Auntie Krystole got her the sweater, and I think it's awesome on Lilly.

She was so hard to keep still during the photo shoot. She was really into the camera and crawled towards it every chance she got!

We like pumpkins!

You can't see them very well, but in the picture I got of this one, it's cropped closer and you can see her two top teeth! My sweet angel has the best laugh.

Well... Lillyan is a walking fool now! Mom and Dad came down for the baby dedication at our church and Lilly decided she wanted to start waling while they were here! I am glad Mom and Dad were here to see it. I know they are sad they live so far away and Luke and I were very happy to share this milestone with them. Lilly takes 20 to 30 steps at a time now and gets where she wants to go. She still crawls because she is faster at it, but she really seems to enjoy learning new things. Life is a little crazier now, that's for sure!

When we were getting the pictures done, I felt a little bad because Lilly had on this, "Jesus Loves Me!," t-shirt and I was loosing my temper with her while she was trying to sell us the different packages! We got this thing in the mail for a package deal; 36 pictures of one pose, for $4.99. Well, that's all good and everything but if you want any other pose on any other sheet, they hike up the prices on you! A normal sheet was $7.99, but if I got the mailing deal (the $4.99 thing) then a regular sheet was $20.00! WHAT? That seems a tad bit extreme to me! So long story short... I'm not a Sears fan. I DO NOT recommend them! But in the end, I think the lady and I became friends... I will just never get pictures done at Sears again!

Love to all, and GET OUT AND VOTE!

Ummm...yeah...not so much.

2008-10-21T16:38:00.002-05:00

So I am not very "political." I vote. I have opinions and views and vote according to those opinions and views. Husband... very opinionated and feels very strongly about his views. I.love.this.about.my.man!

So... I would probably be an Obama fan because there are few things I agree with that I have heard him say throughout his campaign. There are a few I DO NOT agree with... but I feel the same way about McCain. I don't research issues. I don't debate with others about political issues. I don't really "care" much about all of it. I mean I care, but not on a grand scale. Some might say I should care more, I am very sure that some might hope that I would care a little less.

We have been known to have the radio on in our home and not the T.V. This is not to enjoy any special type of music, no... this is so my husband can listen to the latest political news from men with even stronger opinions and views than Luke. (And I must say that some of these men have very strong opinions of themselves - What's up Rush? How ya been?)

Because of Luke's interests. I have found myself more and more interested in political issues. And I am voting this year, as I have always planned, but not for Obama. I'm not a fan of McCain. I think he's scary... looking AND in some of his "Plans" for the future of our nation. But I am voting for him. I really wish there was more of an option to choose from, but this is what it is, so I will do what I think I need to do.

The main reason I am voting for him (dare I say the only reason? No, it's not the only... but there aren't too many more.) is because of the media. I think it is very scary for us to have a Democracy and have such a biased, one sided media. This scare me more than a terrorist threat, because I view it as the terrorist from within. And yes, I realize what I just said.

I just thought I would write a little ditty on a political issue that actually DOES get me fired up and I also hope to stir some thinkers out there too (and by thinkers, I mean brains). I think we should fight for our freedoms. And I want to know facts, not facts the way some else sees it or thinks I should see it! Just facts, so that my brain and my heart can come to it's own conclusion. I think both elephants and donkeys should get their panties out of a wad and just do the job we ask of them. NOT the job they "feel the people should react to." That's not NEWS!

I understand it's virtually impossible to weed out all bias, but don't you think we should try? It's virtually impossible to not sin, but as a Christian I am asked to try! So... there you have it, and I am done.

Exciting News!

2008-10-09T15:29:00.004-05:00

Lillyan took TWO real steps all by herself yesterday!

It was right here in the office. More accurately, on top of a desk in the office. I was showing my friend and our administrative assistant how Lilly can stand on her own (you know, how I bragged about it the other day in my post) and low and behold... Lilly took a step! Tennille (and no, her husband does NOT go by Captain) and I both just looked at her all quiet while Lilly got her balance from her first step and then she took ANOTHER! Tennille and I both squealed in delight and scared the poor child! Lilly got down on her knees and looked at me like, "What did I do Mama? What's going on?" I picked her up and hugged and kissed her and we ran into my office to call her Daddy at work to tell him!

Oh, me oh, my! 9 months and trying to walk. She's a great baby... I'm just not so sure I am ready for my baby to not be so baby anymore! But how excited I am that she is learning and growing!

Our 9 month check up

2008-10-07T16:42:00.002-05:00

We had a check up today, and poor Lillyan got two shots. Her legs hurt! She weighs 17 lbs. and is 27inches long. The Dr. said everything was great, but she measured her head like seven times! Then she left the room, came back in and measured three more times! After she measured for the last time she said that she wants to see Lilly in a month to check up on her head size. Apparently it's a little too large for her "curve" (above average for her height and weight) and then the Dr. said for me to make sure and call them if Lillyan seems to be losing any of her newly learned skills. Then she said that she doesn't think we should have anything to be worried about, but that she just wants to keep her eye on it to be on the safe side of things.

Weird.

Anyone know anything about what might be going on here? She was kinda vague and I was a little shell shocked by it all.

So... if it really is nothing, or if it could be something, please be in prayer for our little Lilly.

Here's a fun fact to end on... she can stand all by herself for a really long time! She can also every once in a while stand up without having to pull up on anything! The other night Luke said she took three short little quick steps when he was trying to change her into her p.j's. But I didn't see it, so I refuse to acknowledge that it happened!

She's SO close to walking! It's fun to watch. we walk with her while holding on to one hand and she giggles the whole time!

She's a major fan of veggie tales and I am so glad! Our morning routine needed something that captivated her 100% so that I could get dressed, face put on, Lilly's hair done, and the diaper bag ready to go without her screaming for me (even though I like it when she screams for me).

Well... that's all I have to say. Later Gators!

LOTS of pic's!

2008-09-26T12:22:00.008-05:00

Our friends Aaron and Angela got a new house! This house has some sweet climbing tree's in the front yard... so the boys climbed them! Here we all are showing off our strong arms (apparently Luke and I flex differently than everyone else in the world! HA!).
Luke, being a monkey! I am so proud.
Luke and Aaron pretending to be cats... but yes... it looks much different than "cats." They seriously crack me up! You never know what those two are gonna do!
Jamie, me, Lilly and Kryslote watching the other tree monkeys.
Luke at the PLAYGROUND, holding Lilly. NOT IN A TREE, at the playground!
Lilly, loving it all!
Lilly in a tree for her very first time!

Luke and I - Happy. Lilly - not so much! She wanted to crawl.
me, laughing at my bff getting up in a tree with the help of her husband! Krystole is crazy funny! She is afraid of heights but insisted on getting in the tree! What a silly kitty!
YAY! She made it (with help from her loving husband of course)!

Lilly, rockn' the Canadian bib!
I love this picture! She looks so sweet and innocent! She had just waken up from a nap I think.
Grandma and Grandpa feeding Lilly.

Auntie Dani and sweet Lilly girl.
Lilly trying to climb whoever was sitting in my office chair.
Lilly and Mommy getting LOTS of work done at the office!

CUTE!
Crawling to Auntie Dani.
THIS is what Lilly looks like when Auntie Dani tries to feed her! It cracks me up! There is more food on my child than in the baby food jar. I laughed and laughed when Dani showed this picture to me.

Lillyan being silly! See the smirk? We get this a lot these days.
Lovin' those fingers!

Well.... on Oct. 2nd our little one ill be 9 months old! Her top two teeth are in and she is talking up a storm. all babble, but still very loud and sweet! The other day I was fixin' dinner and she was standing next to one of the kitchen chairs, holding on and swaying back and forth while singing her own little song. SO SWEET! I started crying, and no... there were no onions involved. She really likes to say Gaa ga and Nananananananan. Dada every once in a while and MAMAMAMAMAMAMAAMAMAMAMAAAAAAAAA!!!!, when she is put down to sleep!

Lillyan goes with me to work and she loves to pull down things off of my shelf and then crawl around the room while holding on to whatever it is she has pulled off the shelf. The other day, she got a box and had a hard time figuring out how to crawl and hold on to a box. IT was the cutest thing ever! And I really have to watch her! She will find a bug almost anywhere and is really interested in them. I have said, "NO!" so many times that now when she sees one, she will look at me and grunt as if to say, "Mommy, don't you want to tell me something?"

I love her to pieces! She is the best thing I have ever done! I am so glad God has blessed us with this precious jewel and I am amazed at His wisdom and design. What an Awesome God we serve! May you find blessings in every moment of your day!

8 months

2008-09-11T16:44:00.004-05:00

Yes. Her toes are painted. My friend Krystole did it, and it was awesome!
Playing at Krystole's.
Krystole said she loved this thing.
Looks like she's having a grand time!
She's so sweet!
Krystole fixed her hair like this! I think it makes Lilly look like a totally different kid! I hardly recognized her when I picked her up! Cute, but weird all at the same time.
I haven't been able to get all of the hair up like Krystole did since! I guess my friend will have to be Lilly's personal stylist!
Our little angel!
Just being a cutie pie. I see Luke in this picture of her.
Posing already. I have to say that I see me in this picture! HA!

More tomorrow or the next day!

Wisdom

2008-08-27T21:24:00.002-05:00

I have none.

There is a lot going on these days and I would like to start off by telling you that I had lunch with my Hubby today. First time ever. We had lunch together when we worked out at Boys ranch together, but that was kinda expected. No... I have my in town job and he has his in town job and Lillyan and I went to met him for lunch. This... was.. great. It was everything I could have hoped for! I love him. We have been married four years, you know! We are perfect now (yes, I am joking).

Lilly is busy, busy, busy. I love her. She is perfect (not joking this time)!

I am writing a book. I have the outline done and am talking with Luke's uncle next week. He's writen a book and had it published and everything. So this is exciting. It's hard to find the time... but having a computer at home that doesn't have the internet helps.

Church job is an issue. I have had a bad atitude about a lot of things, but Luke and I had a come to Jesus meeting and things are on the up and up. It's all been purely my attitude and nothing with people or salvation issues. They have voted me in ful time... which was great confirmation that I am right where God needs me. I needed that confirmation.

I am struggleing with some personal issues... more than just a bad attitude about work. God had been so faithful in giving me the whispers I have needed to give me the confidence to defeat my goliath. I'm just still in the midst of defeating him.

Luke's parents were here this last weekend and it was good to see them, but time went by so quickly. Dani is gone. She moved to Nebraska. We miss her like crazy around here. Saying that I miss her is probably one of the largest understatements I have ever made... but my words fail me when it comes to expressing how very important Dani is to me and our family. There is a huge hole with out her.

Well, my daughter needs me. Look for my book and BUY IT! It will be a while, but I'll let you know all bout it!

7 months

2008-08-08T15:42:00.005-05:00

Maddie loves her Lilly and Lilly LOVES her Maddie!
Papa playn' on the floor with his girl.
Lilly in a sweet dress that my friend gave her. Lilly and Nan match so well!
A picture Aunti Dani took with her new camera.
Lilly helping celebrate a cousin's Birthday.
Lilly and me in the dinning hall at camp! Lilly was an outside of the womb camper this year(Praise the Lord!)
Lilly was very interested in going to camp this way, Mommy thought it would be better for all involved if she went the standard way... by car seat.
This was our private little cabin. A long ways away and down a very steep hill. Let's just say we walked our butt off (literally)!
Lilly and I on our screened in back porch. Nan and Lilly took their afternoon naps out here.
Food time! Need we say more?

AWE! Nan loves her Lilly. Lilly is quite fond of her Nan too!
You can see how much Lilly loves her Nan in this smile right here!
The swing we would swing on after breakfast... Lilly took a few naps on this thing. So sweet!
The view from the swing. Nan's favorite thing to do at camp: SWING!
Nan and Lilly having lots of fun!

Lillyan is 7 months now and doing well!

We went to the Doctor today and she weighs 15 lbs. 8 oz. and is 27 1/2 inches long!

Just growing like a weed... as I am sure you can tell from the pictures!

She is crawling on all fours... but when she feels she needs to go a little faster... she's down in the G.I. Jane position, army crawling her way to her destination. She is also pulling up on things. This has put me in quite a few fits because she is now falling from a standing position and every time I am afraid of brain damage! But Luke tells me that god made baby's very bounce-back-able so I am trying to let it all go. But I still cry with her when she falls.

She still only has two teeth, but I really think the next one or two will make their appearance any day now. She wants to be held a lot (like RIGHT NOW) and we are trying to help her learn how to play by herself. This is another hard thing on me.

Our baby sitter moved away. TEAR. So she is with me until we figure something else out.

Luke got a new job in town!!!!!! We are very excited, but he's nervous so please keep him in your prayers. H will be a Pharmacy Tech. starting Aug. 21st. YAY!

Love you all!

ORANGE!

2008-07-15T19:57:00.002-05:00

I want to first acknowledge that not everyone will be a fan of this topic! Please be friendly and Christ like in your comments if you feel the need to say anything. Thank you!

I just thought I would share a little something that I wrote for our church newsletter. It went over well, and I like to share things... so here it is...

One of my past times is reading blogs. For those of you who may not be familiar with such a word, a blog is a person’s own web page on the internet where they can share stories, pictures, short video’s, and thoughts on whatever topic fancies them. And readers of the blog can usually leave comments and thoughts of their own. It’s basically a little preview into other people’s lives, thoughts, and world.
For a busy body like me… it’s incredible! I can read about a house wife’s life in Arkansas, and I can see an aspiring photographer’s photos in Washington. Some people only post pictures of their growing babies (I’m guilty of this) and others never put up pictures but ramble on and on about politics or something of the like.
I have noticed that in most politically “blue” states, there is a lot of emphasis on “going green,” which is a very modern way of saying that one should be environmentally friendly. I am all for being better stewards of the earth that God has graciously given us… but in my humble opinion… I don’t want to be green. I grew up in a “blue” state and I saw the fuzziness of that fine line between being environmentally friendly, and turning environmentalism into another religion. I have heard a good point that the thought of US, destroying God’s creation seems a little… self involved.
So, I have resolved to be orange. If one is green in a blue state, then I am orange in a red state. I am a conservative, who is going to become a better steward of what God has given us. I would like to extend the invitation to you as well… be orange with me! Be orange because of GOD!

6 Months!

2008-06-17T15:08:00.006-05:00

Our girl is 6 months old today!!!!!
Picture time with Aunt Dani!
It doesn't look like it, but she really does love getting kisses... it was nap time and she was a wee bit cranky.
Black and white family.
To my facebook friends, this may look a little familiar.
Daddy trying to help Lilly celebrate Grandpa's 50th Birthday.
An artsy picture Aunti Dani took of our Lillyan.
5 Generations picture! Great-Great Grandma Ruby (Right), Great Grandma McClelland (Left), Grandma Deal (behind everyone), Dad and Lillyan.
Daddy's girl (that's what it says on her shirt)
Lilly laughing at my bestest friend Krystole! Sweet smile!

She has two bottom teeth that came through before Memorial Day weekend. And I am pretty sure she will be getting her upper one's very soon! She is also rolling over and even crawling! It's an army crawl, but she makes great time and gets anywhere she wants to go! Not up on her hands or knees... she looks a lot like an inch worm when crawling like this.

So... I have realized, my blog has become a little more Lillyan focused and not so much what it was before we got prego. If this is a problem for you... please let me know and I will try to do more of my pre-Lillyan posts regularly. But let me just say that I am a pretty proud Momma of a pretty sweet little girl, and I reserve the right to brag about her when I feel like it! :)

Love ya'll and prayers to ya!

Pictures

2008-06-02T15:53:00.003-05:00

Lilly and her uncle Eric back in March. She was still tiny tiny. Heloves her!
We went to the Oklahoma City zoo the Tuesday after Memorial day and Lilly had fun! She's such a good baby.
Still at the zoo, still having fun.
Nap time!
Lilly's Grandma and Grandpa gave her this Husker's shirt before she was born! She looks good in red, a true Husker fan.
Husker Lilly with a full tummy and her Mama.
Lilly got to met her Aunite Leah over Memorial Day weekend. It was love at first sight! They are big buds now, and we miss her tons!
Lilly and Grandma playing at Great Grandma and Grandpa Deal's house.
Lilly, silly Uncle Eric and silly Daddy playing at the zoo. This was right before we got to see a REAl Hippo. That made me SO happy, even if the hippo did splash his poopy water at us. He was cute, I don't care what you say!
Mommy and Lilly sitting on a turtle at the zoo.

Cuteness and some shower stuff, but mainly CUTENESS

2008-04-30T13:25:00.004-05:00

Lilly fell asleep with her thumb in her mouth. That silly Lilly!
Okay, shower pictures!
My friend Krystole and the beautiful table of yummy goodness!
Me crying because Luke surprised me with a gift at my shower. A James Avery necklace that was a heart with the word Mommy in it. LOVE HIM!
Mom and me in front of the table with all of the gifts!

Now to more baby pictures! Lillyan and Connor holding hands and getting to know each other. Isn't this the best picture you have ever seen? LOVE IT!
My Mom took this the last time she was in town and I keep forgetting to post it. I think she titled the picture, 'Canada makes my hair crazy!' She cracks me up! But this picture is for you, Malcolm and Suzanne, Leah and Ryan, and Brett. Thanks for the Canada bear Brett!
Lilly and her Daddy taking a nap together at Grandma and Grandpa's. I love how they sleep the exact same way! Both of my babies are so sweet!
I don't know why this picture is so small, I wish it was bigger. I think it's so cute, it looks like Lilly and Connor are praying together. They will have so much fun together growing up!
Sweet twin cousin baby feet! The curled toes are precious!

Reunion!

2008-04-08T00:56:00.003-05:00

This is Mom and Dad with their Grand babies! Don't they all look so wonderful together? Mom and Dad are having the best time playing with Madalyn, Connor, and Lillyan!
Here I am with my friend Vanessa and her daughter. She named her baby girl Liliana (I hope that is how she spells it) and my little baby is Lillyan. So here we are with our little Lilly's! Nessa, as I lovingly called here, was always making sure I felt like a part of the group, and she was a fun friend to talk with when on our way home from playing basketball in Walla Walla. She always laughed at me and my crazy ways too. I really like this girl... she's one of my top 10!
Here I am with Shana and Tara. Tara and I weren't too close in high school, but we always knew how to have fun together. Shana and I were pretty close our senior year considering our boyfriends were best friends. Shanna and I got into all kinds of fun! We either found the fun or the fun followed us, it's all still up to perspective. I miss her and really appreciate the kind of friends that are great at picking up right where you left off, even when you haven't seen each other in 8 years! I love my Shanna!
This is the whole class. I actually remember all of their names! But those that weren't able to make it... I'm not promising anything. I think I would have to see them to know if I remember their name! HA!
This is my friend Beth. We were big buds! She and I hit it off the first time we met and she was always such a good friend to me! I really appreciate her sweet heart and her zest for life! We did the basketball thing together too, she was the best guard we had and she had a great shot too! AND she wasn't a ball hog... that's hard to find among girl players! YEAH BETH!

Now it was crazy great seeing this woman! Talk about one of my all time favorites! There is nothing like being able to tell those who had a significant role in your life, how much they mean to you! I got to tell Kathy Iwasa how much I love her and appreciate her willingness to be faithful to God's calling in her life. She was more than just a teacher to me, and she was more than just a class sponsor to me! She was more than a friend, she is one of the people I model my ministry after. Her influence in my life was effective, even when she wasn't an actual presence in my life. When I came back to the Lord and when I decided to serve the Lord, a big part of my heart, soul and brain was happy because I knew Kathy would be so happy! It's a weird thing to try to describe, but my heart felt it, none the less! So I was WAY SUPER EXCITED to see and hug my KATHY!

My high school reunion was fun! I had a blast! Janelle was still super small and Ryan still had all of his hair! That person that I kinda hoped hadn't changed, hadn't really. I thought I would be happy about that, but I wasn't. Not one bit! I pray that some change takes place, but I'm sure God knows best where that change will take place.

I will hopefully have even more pictures later! But that was my fun weekend! Thanks for taking a little time to enjoy the view! HA!

10 YEARS!

2008-03-27T18:32:00.003-05:00

So I am off a week from today to Washington! I am going to my 10 year high school reunion and I am pumped! I have been looking forward to this for a few months now and it is getting closer and I am getting a little scared.

I was a weird-o head in high school. Not much has changed, really. But I spent most of my high school years trying to grow up, be like this person, act like that person, and date this person. I was never really into me. I didn't really like Kara. but now I know it's because Kara was always trying to be someone else.

Now that I am more secure in who I am in Christ, and now that I actually like hanging out with me, can laugh at myself, and feel very comfortable with discussing my short comings AND successes with others... I am a completely different kind of weird-o head!

I'm just a little scared that everyone will remember me like how I was and not give me a chance to show them how I am. At least I can make sure I give others the chance to show me and tell me who they are now. I know I have changed a ton so I am interested in seeing how much my closest friends have changed. Particularly this one individual... but I'm not brave enough to name names.

When I tell my older friends here that I am going to my high school reunion, they all tell me that it's great fun seeing how the popular girls got fat and the popular guys are now blading. It makes me giggle and it will be interesting to see if that is all true at my reunion, but that's not why I'm going. I hope Janelle (who I always thought was the most beautiful) still has her tiny shape and I hope Ryan still has a full head of hair. If they don't, that's fine too, but I'm not sure I'll get a huge ego boost out of it all. I am going to see old boyfriends and crushes and to see the women they married, and I hope to find new friendships in these women. I really hope they all married women who treat them well, and that they are still trying to serve God.

Ok. Here's the part where I become human. I am also going because a part of me wants this one individual to be exactly the same! Someone who looks like they have it all together on the outside, but is desperately trying to hold on to everything in fear that their "status" would plummet. But this person could have changed. I have. But there is a REALLY BIG PART OF ME that kinda hopes they haven't.

I know. I am a bad person. But I am being honest.

Here's to changing (and hoping others haven't)! HA!

Lilly is 2 Months today!

2008-02-27T17:50:00.001-06:00

Here are her 1 month pictures!

Lillyan's Namesake

2008-02-13T14:04:00.004-06:00

(Again, spell check is failing me, so pelase be kind in your thoughts of me while you read this un-spell checked peice of work. Thank you. -The Management)

Strength.

That's the word I think of when I think of my Father. There are so many reasons why he embodies that word to me. The first of many being that he is just simply physically strong. He has been as long as I can remember. And I am not just talking "open the pickle jar" kind of strong. He's tall, broad, very athletic, and has always had big muscles! My Daddy's a strong dude!

Dad is strong in his Faith. He has such wonderful integrity. I remember him once telling me a story about his work and how it's always important to be who you say you are, a Christian. Now, I may have some of the details a little fuzzy (or completly wrong), but I am dead on with the point of the story.

Dad is an excellent supervisior (another Strength of his) and has been the boss of quite a few men in his working days. Now when he worked for a road side assistance program in Vancouver he had a driver who had multiple complaints filed against him. Dad called one coustomer in particular to talk about the complaint he had filed and the discussion escalated, words were said, and this coustomer was even more upset and decided to file a complaint against dad to his boss. So Dad's boss calls him one day and says that all of those coustomer's complaints had been dismissed, and when Dad asked why, his boss told him that he didn't believe anything the coustomer had said. The coustomer claimed that Dad had cussed him out and was unprofessional on the phone. Dad's boss knew that the coustomer had the wrong man and told this guy that in the 10+ years he had known Mike Sellers he had never heard a cuss word come out of his mouth, not to mention anything unappropriate or unprofessional in a buisness related matter.

That story just makes me smile. My Daddy doesn't cuss. And anyone, who knows him knows he loves the Lord and tries his hardest to be a worthy representative of the choice he made to follow Christ, therefore bearing the name Christian. My Daddy's a strong man of God!

Dad loves strong. That may read silly, but it is so true in real life. He has a family member that has hurt him in many ways for many years and when push comes to shove, Dad can see past his own needs and selfishness, and love that person with his whole heart. That exaple of love has always given me unwaivering faith that no matter what I do, how silly I act, or how hurtful I have been... Dad's going to love me regardless. And because I know that, I desperatly try to do the right thing, not be silly (too often), and never ever do anything that would hurt him! Though I know I hurt him in the past when I was being selfish and "rebelling" I know he knows I am a different person now, and had I not gone through that, I would not be the "who" I am today. Dad also loves my Mom! Boy does he ever love her! Suzanne and I were very blessed to grow up in a home where Dad was our example of what love in marriage looks like, feels like, and acts like. Granted, Mom and Dad weren't perfect at the love thing all the time, but I'd be hard pressed to come up with a story that proved that. If you asked me for a story that proved how much they loved each other.... I have a million of those! My Daddy loves strong!

He's also mentally strong. He has goals and works very hard to acheive them, almost always doing so, and he has been through a lot in his life and has never let it get him down or let him have an excuse not to work hard. He's an over-commer, not a "pass the buck" kind of man. THAT TAKES STRENGTH! Dad owns up to the things he does wrong and tries to find a way to either fix it, or appologize in the instances that there is no fix. Dad taught me how to be mentally tough in basketball. Dad tried to teach me how to be mentally tough in school, and not until I got into the work place did I allow it to sink in. But my Daddy's mentally strong!

My Dad is a strong feeler. Again, this may sound silly, but it is still very true. When I see my Dad cry, which has been like three times max, I cry. He may look intimidating, but he's really a big soft teddybear. Sorry Dad, your secret is out! When he hurts, he HURTS. When he's sitting around with his friends, cutting up and laughing, he's the loudest one in the room. And when he cares, he CARES! It takes all of him when he's invested his fellings, and that is just plain awesome to watch and be a part of. I won't go into much detail in this area because I am already tearing up just thinking about what I'd write... and that's no fun for anyone! But trust me on this one (and you may already know this yourself) my Daddy's a strong feeler!

There is so much more about my Dad that examplifies the word strength, that I could go on and on... but in the intrest of time, I won't. Maybe I'll save all of the other ones for another post. But I often think about how I never met my Grandma. I never met Dad's Mom because she died when he was a senior in highschool. Dad never really talked too much about her either and I really don't blame him. He was always fine with us asking questions about her, he would answer with a smile on his face, and when his Dad was alive they would reminise about how wonderful Grandma was, but Dad never really offered information when it came to Grandma Sellers.

It struck me, not too long before my little girl was born, that even though I never met Grandma, I know her. I know her because I know my Dad. I know her legacy. I bet you my Grandma was a very Strong woman. Strength must run in the Sellers jeans, because I know I have my Father's Strength in me. So when Luke and I decided to name our daughter Lillyan, we wanted to honor my Grandmother that I never knew, Lillian Sellers. But now I see that in my daughter, there also lives my Dad.

So Dad, thank you for introducing me to Grandma and for continuing a legacy of strength. May Luke and I be blessed enough to have a daughter who is physically strong, a strong woman of God, loves strong, mentally strong, a strong feeler, and so much more!

Lillyan may be named after a Grandmother I never met, but because of you, I know Lillyan's namesake! I love you!

~KK

Okay, here's the REAL DEAL! HA!!!

2008-01-17T15:43:00.000-06:00

So... Gina and Brett are cracking me up! Gina was right though, not about the 20 comment thing, but about how I just couldn't tear myself away from my sweet little girl! AND Luke and I don't currently have the internet at our house, so I had to wait until I went to my office. But you will be happy toknow that I am posting first, before I order the cirriculum I need for a calss here at church. I know who my priorities are people! (yes, I said who and not what, because ya'll are deffinatly my priority when it comes to the internet... well today anyway.)

So Lillyan Annette Deal was born January 2, 2008 and weighted 7lbs. 10 oz. She was 19 3/4 inches and has a TON of hair! Labor was great! I opted for the epidural and was so happy with my decision to do so that I boldy claimed I could give birth everyday of my life as long as there was an epidural in the house! But then I got to experience the after part, and... let's just say... not so much! I'mm up for another one, MAYBE two... but that'll be all folks! The epidural helped Luke and I have a great experience together and the Monster I can become barely came out pre-epidural. Post-epidural... Luke and I were friends, and I was back to my silly ways... the nurse was so great and my Dr. is the bomb-diggity!

And to answer Gina's question about how you pronounce it... Lillyan is one word. Not like Lilly Ann. My grandmother spelled it Lillian... if that helps any.

Yes... I kow I put two of the same pictures up... but I'm a goober like that! And my spellcheck isn't working, so pardon me for being lazy and a horrible speller, it's one of my many talents.

Love ya'll! Feel free to gush and comment! :)

So here's the Deal...

2007-12-30T10:07:00.000-06:00

Ohh, got cha! That would be a cute title for when the baby comes! Too bad it hasn't yet!

So, seriously... here's the news. If Baby doesn't come by Wed., I will be induced at 7:00 a.m. Wed. morning. There is now light at the end of the tunnel for me. This has been HUGE in helping me relax and enjoy the end of my pregnancy. Now when baby moves I think, "oh, I will miss this, " instead of "Holy crap this hurts, GET OUT OF ME!"

See... huge difference!

We only have a few more days (like today and tomorrow) to get a tax break... but I really don't care! I am just so glad and happy that I will be a Mommy this time next week! I can't wait to met baby and KNOW WHAT IT IS! I'm sure ya'll are chomping at the bit too!

But I will give you a little something that I have been keeping a secret... the names!

Girl: Lillyan Annette Deal
Boy: Lincoln Allen Deal

For those of you who don't know my husband, it's a little bit of a tradition to have an LAD in the family. Luke is the first born and he is Luke Allen Deal. Luke's Dad is the first born and is Larry Allen Deal. And Luke's Grandpa is the first born and is Lloyd Allen Deal. So that's why we picked the names we did! And I love them so tread carefully if you don't like them, I might put you on "MY LIST"(... if you catch my drift) if you say anything bad.

And NO! We did not choose the name Lincoln because of the University of Nebraska (although that is a cool coinkidink {my own spelling}). It is actually after Abraham Lincoln, and we just like the name.

So, there you go! Thanks for all the prayers and love! We love you and are praying right back!

Hey Gina.... how is the move to Portland going? Finding jobs and such?

No baby yet!

2007-12-27T14:01:00.001-06:00

I could be induced tomorrow if everything looks good... so please say a little prayer for us. We are excited about meeting our little one!

Christmas was great! Family was here, food was good, and Christ was celebrated!

Hope all of your plans and family were great!

Love,
The Deal's

I smell Christmas!

2007-12-20T14:08:00.000-06:00

Christmas is only 5 days away! Yippee!

No baby yet... but we are getting closer. I am in PreLabor right now! This whole being prego stuff is NOT like it is in the movies and T.V.! (I know... "Duh!") But the light is at the end of the tunnel... I can see it... it just feels like I'm riding a snail in getting there!

So, what are your plans for Christmas? Who are you excited to see? What did you ask Santa for? And were you a good boy or girl this year?

One of my favorite Christmas memories was when my family took a trip to New York City! I wish we could do it again with everyone who has joined our family since. I'm kinda in the mood lately to see a Broadway play, and eat some REAL Italian food in little Italy. It may have something to do with my pregnancy, but I have been doing a lot of thinking about the past and people in it. A lot of reflection and such. But New York... defiantly one of the best memories! Even though I was a little bit of a brat and a half on that trip... another story for another time.

In a major subject change, I realized that I never posted pictures from the shower, so I will do that next time.

Well, if I have a baby between now and the next time I am on here, have a Merry Christmas!

Lovies And Merry Christmas!!!

December

2007-12-13T15:05:00.000-06:00

I'm off bed rest as of Monday and the baby can come anytime now and it will all be dandy fine!

Enough about baby. Don't get me wrong, we are really excited, but I am so anxious about the delivery that I am trying not to think about it all the time. Which, by the way, is extremely hard to do!

So, Luke's parents are coming in for Christmas, as well as Eric (his brother) and his girlfriend that I have never met. They say she's shy... which if you know me, means a challenge, and oh, how I love my challenges! I love making shy people talk. I know, I'm a weirdo... but it's kinda fun to take people out of their little comfort zone and watch them squirm. It sounds mean, but I really think I am doing them a favor. You know, helping them stretch and grow and stuff! Of course, I have never been shy, so I might actually be torturing them... but I am usually 100% interested in actually getting to know them better. You have to TALK in order to do that! So that should be fun (for me anyway, hopefully her too and we'll become life long friends)!

Luke's Canadian sister, Leah, is coming with her hubby (who is a little shy too, but I think he's use to me now... hopefully) and we are More than excited to see them! We haven't seen her since their wedding OVER a YEAR ago! Canada kept her under lock and key for a while there, but now they have decided that she can be one of them and they are willing to let her go. :)

My parents are going to Calgary to visit my Canadian sister, that is... if my baby doesn't decide to come before Christmas. In that event... they will be here for the Holiday. We shall see about all of that craziness. It's been cool being pregnant with my sister and all, but it's starting to make Mom a little nervous about where she needs to be and when. I have faith it will all work out, but these babies are all on a schedule of their own!

Work is good, life is good, family is good. We can't really complain! The weather is a little bi-polar around these parts, but other than that we are just boring old people who are going to parents! CRAZY!

hola!

2007-11-30T09:31:00.000-06:00

A VERY quick update...

I was put on bed rest. It stunk (stinks). I was put on bed rest the DAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY!! So I turned 28 in bed. Thanksgiving was interesting too... it is hard to eat at a 45 degree angle.

I went to the hospital on Monday because I scared the Doctor and had really high blood pressure. They thought I had toxemia (sp?), but I don't, so I left. I had to collect my pee for 24 hours! That was an adventure that I am sure you are glad to know about! :)

Yesterday the Doctor said I could get up 30 min at lunch and 30 min at dinner. Which sounds good... but I still can't DO anything! So basically I can stand and watch T.V. or stand and make a lunch or dinner... but I can't bend over, pick up anything, or anything of the like. So yeah, that's the update!

It's amazing how quickly the morning and evening time goes, but the afternoon time is a drag and a half! That's when I need my peep's! The jury is still out on when Mom is coming down, because the jury is also out on when baby will come. ME being 1+, 50% and -2 for two weeks is a good thing. But this also means I could be 1+, 50%, and -2 until Jan. 3! (Just like my friend Trina said... HI!!!) (HI!!! to Gela too! I miss you and hope you become a fellow Texan with me too! Our number has changed, but if you still have Mom and Dad's number, they'll give it to you I am sure!)

Love you all and thanks for the prayers! Luke, me and Baby Deal can't wait to introduce the new one soon!

Lovies!

SUZANNE!

2007-11-18T10:07:00.000-06:00

YES! That was a picture of me with a pillow under my shirt to make me look extreamly HUGE! I just want to look big, fat and pregnant SO BAD! And everyone tels me I don't even look 8 months! So Mom and I got a little silly and took a few fake pictures. This (up there) is the real one! YAY for no strech marks!

Thanks Gina and Xana for your prayers and comments! Love ya both SO MUCH!

Next Dr. appt. tomorrow @ 8:30.

First things first...

2007-11-15T16:06:00.000-06:00

Leah wanted to see a picture of me prego, so here it is... enjoy! Big, eh?

Secondly, I went to the Doctor and there was not much good news. I will, however start with the good news.

Baby's heart beat is great! Baby's is growing like all baby's in their Mommie's tummies should at 33 weeks. My blood pressure is good.

Okay, now the scary stuff. I am 1 centimeter dilated and 50% effaced. Baby's head is at -2. This may all sound like a bunch of Doctor talk, but basically I should not be this far "along" in the labor process for only being 33 weeks. I was put on bed rest today and will stay on bed rest until Monday (with the exception of Sunday where I can delegate but NOT be on my feet or hands on with the kids). Monday Morning they will check me again and if I have progressed, then I am at risk for preterm labor. If I have not progressed... I am guessing(because she did not tell me what she would do if I haven't progressed) that I will either be on bed rest until week 37 (Dec.14th) or have very strict and/or limited work restrictions.

Needless to say I am a little anxious about all of this news. I can't stop thinking about what I haven't done in the baby's room, or about what still needs to be done at work, and all such business. But at least I will have some time to get thank you cards out for the kind and awesome ladies that gave me a shower this past weekend! That was fun times in the neighborhood! I'll post pictures of that another time!

Later!

Howdy!

2007-11-07T14:46:00.000-06:00

I went to the Dr. last wk, and would you believe that I forgot to ask where the baby is!?! I got so caught up in asking the Dr. how possible it was for me to talk her into inducing us, that it just totally left my brain! But everything was good! Blood pressure, weight, and size. Fun times!

Baby is getting stronger! It really hurts now when I am kicked, or even if baby is just moving around! But it's really fun to watch, because you can see it through my shirt now ans stuff. My Mom got a big show this morning. baby must have had the fidgets or something! For those of you not in the Sellers family, that's what we call R.L.S. (restless leg syndrome). Mom has had it for years, and we constantly tease her about it.

So, yeah. Mom came in yesterday. She's just hanging out with us while Dad travels and helping get baby's room ready and such. I have my first shower on Sat. and that's the REAL reason she's here... to be a part of all the fun. I like having her around. It's great being able to have someone around that gets you... seeing as I am totally cut from the same cloth as her. I grow into a Kay more and more everyday. Someone told me the other day that you Mother like your Mom did, and this made me feel so much comfort! YEAH! I'll be a fun Mom! Mom was (and is) more than just fun. She's very insightful and so tender and caring. It's great seeing her with Madalyn. Our baby is one of the luckiest, just simply because of Nan. She's great!

Ok... off the baby subject for a bit. Luke is doing well at work. He's helping the rec. staff implement some new purpose and rules! He is really enjoying this part of his job. I think he is turning into his father more and more everyday, which is a really neat thing to see. Larry is one of the greatest people I have ever known! Luke just needed to feel like he had a place to give his 100% and God has blessed him with that opportunity at Boys Ranch. His boss and co workers love him, and it makes me grin fro ear to ear to know that others love him and see him like I do. He's just great. 'Nough said.

The Harvest Festival is over! So I am a happy camper once again. It all went smooth, but the last hay ride of the night got egged by some punks, and that was no bueno. But if that's the worst thing that happened, then I think the festival was s success! Now I am just planing the Christmas play and waiting for baby! Oh, and still working with C.P.S. kids. That's just a stinkn' great job! Pushing me out of my little box every day... it's cool.

Well... I hope all is well in your worlds. I am reading all of the blogs I love again. I'm just not much of a message poster anymore. So, that's my story.

I am NOT a FACE BOOK FAN!

2007-10-28T09:43:00.000-05:00

Sorry Brett, it's true. Face Book and I have issues. We are tying to work things out, but so far... it's really not my thing. I know you thought I'd love it. And I know you thought we would be a match made in heaven. I mean... your last experience with me and a close friend of yours went oh, so very well... provided I'm about to have his baby and all. But Face Book... you totally missed the mark on that one kid.

I know this may break your heart, and maybe even make you a little defensive and all, but I have to tell you that as far as I'm concerned, Face Book is in the same realm as that other person we use to spend hours and hours gossiping about and hating! (Yes, we have repented of our ways, and I now find that person rather amusing. Maybe there is hope for Face Book... BUT NOT TODAY!)

And for all of my other readers (Hi Mom, Xana, and Gina!) Me, Luke and Baby are doing well. That was a weird order to put us in seeing as how I am still pregnant, but whatever. I go to the Dr. on Thursday and will give an update on where baby is in my belly. Hopefully up!

Later.

Update

2007-10-10T17:30:00.000-05:00

I went to the Doctor and the Doctor said...

No more Monkey's jumping on the bed!

Sorry. Lame Kara moment.

So... yeah... Everything is GREAT! My blood pressure? GREAT! My blood Sugar? GREAT! My weight gain? GREAT! My pains and complaints? GREAT!

What's not so GREAT? Baby is low. We're talking "how low can you go" low! Like if baby doesn't find a way to come up, I will be on bed rest the last month or so. YUP! Not so GREAT! It's hard to do a Christmas play from bed you know!?! And here I thought I would be the pregnant Mary for the play and all.... dreams... slowly... dying.

But seriously here folks. A little talkie, talkie to God about baby feeling a little less weighted in the lower regions of my body... that would be appreciated. (translation: please pray for us!)

Thanks.

2 things

2007-10-04T13:49:00.000-05:00

1. Chicken Pad Si U is my all time favorite dish. I have it morning noon and night and dream about it when I am sleeping. It is the only thing that makes this crazy lady feel full! Try it... you'll thank me.

2. Am I a bad person, or is it a sign that I will be a horrible Mother because I get annoyed that my baby kicks me? There are times when it's sweet and it literally moves me to tears because it's awesome and unbelievable that there is another human inside of me! But most of the time I am WAY annoyed that it won't stop kicking me! I don't kick it! Why must baby always kick me?

A view from the outside in

2007-10-02T14:24:00.000-05:00

So last night I got a little preview of what it has been like for Luke living with me while prego.

I had a bad day at eating, but I was in a rather delightful mood anyway. I was helping my friend at her job and wasn't able to get food from my starving belly. Knowing that Luke would be home before me, I called his office to ask him to bring me something home. He wasn't available, so the lady I talked to was very nice and left a detailed message for him, stating that baby and Mommy were hungry and he needed to stop and bring something home to us.

Well, I got off work a little earlier than I had anticipated and went home and had some yogurt. I know Luke would be bringing something home, so I tried not to eat everything in the house!

When Luke got home he had a huge bag from Subway. He looked at me and said, "I didn't know what you would want so I got you three different sandwiches."

HA! I laughed SO LOUD! It was the sweetest thing I think he has ever done. But I also felt a little bad, because I have been very picky lately. I am usually the type that no matter where we go to eat I have at least one thing I will always like. Not true since being prego! Al of the sandwiches he got were perfect. I will confess though, one of them was a sandwich HE likes as well, so when I didn't pick that one, he ate it. Then both of our tummies were happy!

He even said that he tried to get the toppings that he didn't think would make me burp (needless to say this has been a problem lately. Indigestion... NOT my friend!).

What a guy. This is why I love this man. Always willing to serve, and always with a cheerful heart. But... maybe I could work on being a little less... how you say... scary demanding picky?

I'm pregnant. I have an excuse. But only for three more months!

3 JOBS!!!

2007-09-27T12:51:00.000-05:00

Yeah, you read that right. I have three jobs and I am 6 months prego!

The Children's Ministry stuff is going great! I am a little late kicking off my fall cirric, but that's due to the ordering and receiving process.

My second job is being an observer of C.P.S. visits (Child Protective Services). Pretty easy job, and really good money! It also helps keep my to a schedule, which I appreciate, and I am sure my boss at church appreciates too! :)

My third job is only when I am available, or when she needs me. I take money from parents who want photos of their children taken with their sports teams. I really like this job, but I would rather spend time with Lukie if I have that option. So Saturday's that he works, I work at Pro Shots.

Busy, busy. Not to mention Beth Moore class (LOVE IT!), sewing lessons, and baby room getting ready-ness!

Yeah, Danny moved out. Maddie and I are fairly depressed. She misses Aurora, and I miss Danny. so last night and this morning she and I moped and cuddled with each other. Pathetic, I know.

Baby is doing great. Moving lots! Luke has finally been able to feel some really good kicks, and I think he understands a little better how uncomfortable they can be. I have another appt. next week, and should find out the results of my sugar test. I must be crazy, cuz I liked the taste of the sugar drink they make you drink. It was like orange crush on steroids. Not that i would want it every day, I'm just sayn'...

later.

sup?

2007-09-07T14:12:00.000-05:00

We went to Canada and it was FUN! We were so glad we got to hang out with family and relax! Luke's busy season at work had just finished and mine is just beginning, so it was the perfect time to get away. We are glad to be back home. I wish we had tons more money so we could jet out to Portland, Canada (both Calgary and Regina), and anywhere else family lives when ever we wanted! Maybe one day.

So... I am defiantly hitting the nesting faze hard! While in Calgary I was inspired to clean out my fridge because Suzanne's was so purdy. And while I was there I also wrote down like a million and a half recipes. This week I have made three. All YUMMY! Tonight I am trying my hand at meatloaf. Not just any meatloaf, my mommy's meatloaf! I've called her a few times to ask her if she'd be on stand by for me. I'm not so smooth in the kitchen. But you really wouldn't know it from the taste of the food this week! I'm excited to have a new hobby!

I am also taking Sewing lessons from this dear, sweet woman at our church! She has lived the most interesting life, and BOY, does she like to talk! I love it though! I just sit and cut and she tells me all of these wonderful stories! It's a blessing for both of us really. I am oh so grateful that she is my friend, and that she is so patient with me! The simplest things get me all confusticated! I have had my sewing machine for two years now, and this is the first time I have used it! But I do love it, so far.

I am also doing a Beth Moore class with my Aunt Nan. It's so great and powerful. The only drawback is when Luke asks me about it, I just don't feel like I can get the point across like she does, so he misses out on all the meaty good stuff because I sound like a bumbling fool! Praise the Lord for Beth Moore's who can make sense out of such awesome Bibleness! But MAN, that's a ton of reading!

And I don't know if this is a prego thing, but I have been thinking about a lot of my
ex-boyfriends lately. Not only wondering how they are, but thinking about how silly I was. There were a few that I know I destroyed the name of Christ for them. I can only pray that God is gracious enough to have given them the opportunity to really know how great He can be! Why do we have to be so foolish when we are young? Praise the Lord for growing up and acquiring wisdom and perspective. How I wish I could tell some of those men how sorry I am. I can't believe I let myself use and abuse them just to try and find out who I was. SO NOT COOL! But they all taught me something, and I KNOW I wouldn't be who I am and where I am with out each and every experience. so I actually pray prayers of thanksgiving for my own foolishness. It seems silly, but it is so real!

Well, I hope everyone is doing well. And I hope that my sister updates her blog soon. I became a little too addicted to my blog world, so for the next month or so I only have a handful of blogs I am checking me. It's killing a little part of me, but hopefully God will be glorified though the shaping of my self control. (Is it just me, or do you always think of the fruit of the spirit song when you say or hear the words self control? anybody? anybody? okay... I'm just a goober and a half!)

It's a long one! Just a fair warning!

2007-08-07T19:30:00.000-05:00

CAMP

It's been over for three weeks now and I am glad it's over. The first week wasn't very hard, just a little anticipation/anxiety at times that manifested itself in some serious heartburn. The second week was GREAT! Luke got to come with us and just him being there really helped me! He's so great with the kiddo's, they all loved him. There were even times when he was able to use his de-escalation techniques with some rough kids. And he rubbed my feet! That was nice. The first week of camp was also good because I was able to be in charge of some things, which helped make me feel like I had purpose and not just like the new kid on the block.

Some seriously funny things that happened at camp had to do with feminine products. Not the actual products, but the boys from our church wanting to know what they were. They hounded Luke all week long to tell them what they were because in their cabin there was this sign on the door that asked for no feminine products to be flushed down the toilet. One boy in particular kept bugging Luke to tell him. Luke would just say, " You don't use them, so you don't need to worry about it!"

So I got this boy to ask me the "question" and when he did I explained that the word feminine comes from the word female. And then I asked him if he was a female. He said he wasn't no stinkn' girl and I told him he didn't need to worry about it then! He gets this puzzled look on his face and says (direct quote), "So if a girl craps in the toilet, she can't flush it?"

HA! I explained that we were allowed to flush our poop, but he would have to wait until he got home to ask his mother what the feminine products where.

Oh, it doesn't stop there! One of our adult sponsors had to go home early for a family emergency and Luke took him to town to be picked up. Going to town was a four to five hour ordeal, and when Luke got back, that same boy yelled out in front of all of the little campers, "YAY Mr. Luke, your back! Now you can tell me what feminine products are!" Luke turned all shades of read and simply said, "you don't need to worry about that until you get home!"

AHHHH, kids! This same little boy also made a fantastically funny word mix up. We were making journals in crafts one day and when the teacher got through explaining what we were doing he said out loud, "Oh, we're making diarrhea's!"

I will forever call my journals and diaries, diarrhea's in his honor!

BABY

Most all of you should know by now that Suzanne is prego too! She is due 4-8 days before me! So we are having babies together! They found out just last week or so that they are going to have a little boy. Luke and I have decided to wait and be surprised at the delivery... so it will be interesting to see if Xana's baby will have a boy playmate or a girl to toughen up!

My mom told me that when our friend Shaunna found out we were so close to each other's due dates... she said, "They do everything together!" That made me laugh so hard! I guess it's kinda true. We have always been very close... but this is just silly, freaky, awesome, fun weird!

Luke and I go see the baby again on August 22nd. We are excited to see how much baby has grown! You sure can tell by my belly that baby has grown, though I still haven't gained any weight! On our 3rd year anniversary this last Tuesday... we both felt the baby move. Baby doesn't like it when I lay on my back, and that's when we felt baby Deal! It was way cool! Of course I feel baby all the time, but this was the first time you could feel movement on the outside!

We have names picked out for both boy and girl. the initials are L.A.D. in both cases, it's a family tradition. But you'll have to wait until baby comes to hear the names.

TRIPS

We are finally going on our Canada trip! You know, the one we had to cancel because the dumb part of the government didn't get Luke's passport to him on time!?! So it will be fun to see Xana and compare bellies and all. I am excited to see Madalyn too! It's been FOREVER, and untie KK needs to hug and play with that sweet little girl. Suzanne said she's already asking how many sleeps until we get there. She's the cutest. Mom and Dad will be there too! That ALWAYS makes it fun! Look out Canada... here comes the Sellers clan!

And for our anniversary Luke and I went to the oh, so exciting town of Lubbock. But the do have more baby stores there, and we played in all of them. this one boutique had bedding that was $500+. Nothing less than! IT was crazy. And it was good to just get away and relax.

We hope to go see grandma and grandpa Deal in October. And maybe even go to Nebraska to see Luke's brother and met his girlfriend. Maybe see a York soccer game or two. Hopefully Luke's brother will just met us in Oklahoma City. that would be much easier on the prego lady!

Random

If you could keep Luke in your prayers, that would be awesome. God has really laid something huge on his heart and he is dealing with it in his own Luke way. He's not ready for me to share details, so I won't. But I will say that it effects our future a great deal. Not a big, huge, right away type change... but one that will defiantly determine our career paths. It's weird because one Sunday he was telling me how if there was one thing he could do (work related) it would be _____, and the next day... THE NEXT DAY, God opened that door for him. So, he's having to put his money where his mouth is, so to speak, and see what God has in store for him. It just requires a lot of guts, boldness, and a huge leap of faith. So, please pray that he hears God, and that whether the answer is yes or no, that Luke (and I) have the courage to follow through with it!

That's all for now! Lovies, KK

2007-07-09T11:36:00.000-05:00

V.B.S. has come and gone. Mom was here to be the snack lady and we had a blast! Dad came in for the weekend after V.B.S. was over and then we had even more fun. I like them. I like them a whole lot!

So now I am getting ready for camp. A week from today I will be at my first camp of two weeks of camp. That doesn't sound like English, but trust me, it is. I am not really looking forward to camp. Which is really weird because I have been to church camp every year of my life! But there is something about going to a new camp, following new traditions and such that makes me feel.. very timid. I'm sure all will be well. but I still don't really have the excitement in my belly that I'm use to... maybe I'm just getting old.

Luke's mom and dad have been in town for about two weeks now. So we have had a lot of family time over at G&G Mc's. That's what we call Leslie's parents.They have also gotten us some stuff for baby. Like little p.j.'s and such. They are really cute! It's still hard to imagine that there will be a little one in them soon. I am just now really starting to show. And that's only if you know me. I'm sure to others it just looks like I am in need of some weight watcher attention!

This being pregnant thing has been the best diet so far. I have lost more weight than I did doing weight watchers! HA!! Not really. But I have lost! And it seems like the bigger my waist gets, the smaller my butt gets, so pants have a hard time staying on! It's hard to keep pants on a cone! :) And I don't do sweets. We had some homemade ice cream the other night, and I almost barfed it up in front of the family because it tasted so sweet! No. no. Ice cream, cake, cheese cake, chocolate, and things of the like are not my friend!

Mashed potatoes and green beans... that's more like it! Oh, and corn on the cob from Chili's! YUMM!

Enough about food. Luke is doing well. He's working so hard for the money. Summer program out at the ranch is a hard season... but MAN is he dark! He's my little brown bear these days. This is the first summer where he is darker than me, and boy... don't you know he let's me hear about it every day!

Speaking of Luke... about two weeks ago, he destroyed three cars in four days. OK. Not DESTROY, destroy... but all of them got sent to the shop, and not one of them was in a wreck! First, our new car was flooded out in some high waters, then his mom and dad's car over heated and had to get a new engine (Luke was driving it at the time). And last our old car decided it didn't want a transmission anymore! So Luke wasn't allowed to drive any one's car for like a week! Everyone was scared what he'd do to it! HA! But like I told him, if it had to happen to anyone... I'm glad it was him. He's the only guy I know that would be able to take it all in stride and not become a downer about it all. He's just cool like that.

Well. There's a boring update. But at least I don't feel like a bad blogger for not posting in forever! So really, it's all about me. (I tease, I tease.)

Xana. Isn't there something you want to tell us?

What I have learned thus far...

2007-06-08T11:22:00.000-05:00

I want to tell you a story.

My husband and I, about two years ago now, decided that we had no idea when a "good time to start a family" was. We hadn't done things in the "normal" way from the get go, and were feeling a little over whelmed by the need to do more things before we had kids, but we wanted to have kids fairly soon. So we decided we would start trying to have children in another year or so.

So the year is up, and I am just SO SURE that I won't be able to have children easily. Why? I have no clue, I just didn't feel like it would be an easy thing for me. But we start trying. Another year passes and no baby. I am now more convinced that this baby stuff was going to be a long and expensive process.

We go see a specialist. Expensive. but worth it. We just wanted to see what we would be in for if and when we ever had the money to have babies. Not stressed about time, we are still fairly young, but just wanted to be informed on the journey.

I am diagnosed with PSOS. I would spell it all out for you, but I have no clue how to spell half of those words. So, there you go. And Dr. Specialist tells us about all of these different roads we can take. We choose the least expensive and the one that is less likely to get us pregnant ASAP.

I start taking Met-Formin, a drug that many women with PSOS take. This drug will help prepare my body for when I do get pregnant, and only gives us about a 20% better chance of getting prego. And our insurance covers this treatment/drug. All of the other options, not so much.

I am on this drug for three months. In the third month of taking it, I find out I am pregnant.

So I am way embarrassed, and faced with what a doubting Thomas I had become. I had really gotten to the place where I thought it was up to me and Luke to get us pregnant (as silly as that sounds). Maybe it was my way of coping with how God had made me a little extra special in the baby making way, or maybe I had just lost all hope and faith in Him. I'm still working on figuring that one out. But, none the less, I was there. Lacking faith, and now being shown just how silly I was.

And you would think the story ends there. NOPE! At our first sono, they see two starts of babies. Twins! Oh, I felt so overwhelmed. IT was like God was directly saying to me, "Not only did you lose your faith in me, but I will show you who's boss!"

Humbled, I was. Humbled I am. Lessons have been learned, and I am now in a place of total and complete roller-coaster-ness! We no longer have twins. Just one happy and healthy baby living inside of me. And we are so thankful! And I am still so humbled by His blessings, and by His God-ness!

We saw the baby again yesterday at our 4th sono. Baby was dancing for us (already hamming it up for the camera) and playing peek-a-boo with those tiny hands over baby's eyes.

There's my story. That is one of the many things I have learned from God thus far in being a soon to be Mommy. I hope there is a lesson in it for you. I would hate for this blog post to be in vain.

Blessings, and I love and care for you,
Kara

Today is a good day!

2007-05-31T14:08:00.001-05:00

Holy cow, I feel better! Today is the first day in what seems like months, that I had a full meal. I had a whole sandwich and a bag of chips for lunch today. It may seem like a little thing to you, but for me, it's HUGE!

I don't really want to talk pregnancy stuff though. IT's really started to consume my life, and I want to just really be able to LIVE my life. Ya, know?

So I had lunch with an old friend today. And I must say that I really enjoy the kinds of friends and friendships where you can not talk to each other for months, and then when you do see each other, it's like picking up where you left off. It seems like more of a "family" type relationship. Like my extended family. I hardly ever see them, but I love them oh, so dearly. and when we do get to see each other, it's like there's five min.'s of catch up time and the rest is memory making time! It really is the best.

I miss my grandma. In the worst way. I was telling Luke the other day that I want to go to Dallas and stay with her in her apartment and go and eat at the Luby's that's near her house and maybe go into the Old Navy there. He looked at me really weird. she's been dead now for years, but it still feels like I could just go and visit her and she's still be there. She really loved me, and she was always so proud of me. I think she was always a little worried about me too, because I don't tend to do things in a "normal" fashion. Like if she would have been alive for my wedding, it would have probably stressed her out a little bit because I lived in Amarillo and got married in San Antonio. We hadn't lived in San Antonio for like 14 years... it was just different. Grandma never really understood different, but she still loved me.

I know this post has taken a morbid turn, but it feels good to write about it. I Really think she would have loved Luke. Well, she would have loved him because I love him, but Luke is so gentle and so caring. He really balances out my "different-ness" and he loves me because I am so weird. I guess I am still a little tiffed at God. the weekend we had planned to go and visit grandma, so Luke could met her and because we all knew she was fading fast, she died. Luke never met her. There's like a huge part of my life that he will never know. It really bumms me out! He did get to met Grandma's twin sister, which is almost like meeting grandma. But, you know, it's still not the same. Man, I miss her. (okay, can anyone say hormones????)

Well, let me get back to my good day. I actually feel well enough to work on VBS stuff, so I should get back to that! If you have made it this far, thanks for putting up with my rant. And I just want to say a special hello to my cousins in Austin! I am so glad you found our blog, and I love you very much! I hope to come see ya'll real soon! And I love you too Auntie Pigg-a-lee! :)

UPDATE and a plee for help!

2007-05-16T15:40:00.000-05:00

First, thanks for all the comments. It's great to know that other's are praying for us and are excited too! And thanks for those of you who put your 2 cents in on whether or not we should find out the sex of the baby. It's helped us come to a decision. What that is, you'll have to wait and find out! :)

So, the baby is great! Luke and I have been to three different sono's because they were never really sure how far along I was AND because TWO eggs had been fertilized people! That's right... for about two weeks I was considered a twin pregnancy. But now, the latest sono showed only one heart beat. the other gestational sack was still there, but is not developing. A little sad, but they say that it is actually fairly normal. They call it the vanishing twin syndrome. I know a lot of people in my family were excited about the possibility, but I think that God's plan is in full effect now, and maybe next time we'll get a two for one deal (no pun intended).

But morning sickness has moved in. Now, I know that many people have it worse than me considering I have only puked one time. But it is still no fun feeling like I am going to puke all day long. And nothing sounds good to eat, and when I do eat, nothing tastes very good. My diet consisted of saltine crackers and chicken noodle soup for quite a few days. I'd be okay if I never saw a saltine again! And smells! Just a whiff of my dog makes me run to the bathroom in fear of puking everywhere... but I never do.

So please, won't you share with me some insight on this morning sickness stuff?! I am willing to try anything!

We made a DEAL!

2007-05-02T15:09:00.000-05:00

HA! I love that line! I have been waiting like FOREVER to use it!

Luke and I are having a baby this December!

And I must admit that I feel a little silly. Two posts ago I was all, "Blah, blahm blah." But while I was writing it, I was prego!

It's still really early, like 5 weeks, so I probably shouldn't REALLY be telling everybody. But I am just so excited. We are going to be parents! It's a really crazy thing to think about and plan for. Because no amount of thinking or planning will EVER really help us get ready... but there is still so much to do!

So... There will be a little Deal running around by 2008. We haven't decided if we are going to find the sex out before or wait for the delivery. Any opnions or stories out there you want to share?

Love you guys, and thanks for all of your sweet words and thoughts in my whinney post about trying. I can't wait to share some experiences and such!

Passport, Shmash-port

2007-04-25T12:19:00.000-05:00

Luke and I are suppose to be in Calgary, Alberta, Canada as of yesterday. But NOPE! Stinkn' U. S. Government is S.L.O.W.! Luke got his application in like a million and a half years ago (translation: beginning of Feb.) and still no passport. So the passport web site gives you a number to call. We call the number and wait through eleventy billion options and such. Fun times. And then they hang up on us because there were no lines open. Hmmm, ever heard of a call waiting program? HELLO? American Airlines has one (I know this information because of the situation at hand) can our government not afford one? Smells like bologna sandwiches to me people!

SO... anywho, We finally get through and find out Luke's passport is being processed in Houston. No, no, there is no phone number to call. No supervisor to talk with. The only help offered was for the operator helper person on the other end of the dumb phone to email the Houston service branch to tell them to rush the process. Yeah. That some GREAT accountability there! So Luke is told to call back tomorrow to see if his passport has been processed.

It wasn't! Nopey nope, nope! He was told to call again the next day.

NOPE! (seeing a pattern here friends?) Call back the next day.

NOPE!

So, the knowledge that I have gleaned from this little experience is... people in Houston do not read their emails! Yup. Pure and simple. The whole passport system is just set up so fantastically well, that if those stinkn' emails were just read on a regular bases, than everyone would have their passports BEFORE the date of their scheduled trip.

(Note the sarcasm)

I will leave you with this. I am sorry if this story was not written in English. There are many Kara-ism's and many rambling rants that I am too lazy to go back and fix. I am not in Canada with my family, I am bitter, and I am having to work instead! Happy camper, I am not. So please know that I am sorry if this is a hard one for you to get through!

Ahhhh, I feel a tiny bit better.

It's been a while

2007-04-22T17:53:00.000-05:00

Tons of stuff going on in my life these days! It is really starting to drive me crazy. Seriously.

But the one thing that I do want to share... being an adult really bites! Not really all that shocking. Luke and I are trying to have babies. I say babies, because I think it would be really cool to have twins. So maybe if I just say babies, my body will fulfill my prophecy.

Why is it that some married people just have to breath on each other and out pops a bay, and others have this long, dumb waiting period? Please don't answer that. It's not a topic I really want to go into, it's just one I needed to get off my chest!

So, topic change...

I am now a Red Wing Shoe saleswoman. yup-er-roos! I have a second job. For like a month now! It is awesome. But if you don't like feet... don't ever do it! Kay?

I get to see all kinds of farmers and oil riggers, and such. Makes for god story telling at home. Though I don't think I ever hung out with my friend chelan long enough to absorb good storytelling-ness. she's the best I've ever known.

Yeah, sad update, but that's all I have time for!

Forgiveness...

2007-02-12T15:01:00.000-06:00

So, I recently wrote a little article about love in our Feb. newsletter at the church. It was about how I have recently noticed that I have a hard time loving others because I have never really loved me. It sounds a little vain, and I don't mean it to be, but I really don't think we can truly know what it is like to love others as we would love ourselves if we don't even love us! Savvy?

Well... this has still been on my mind, but I have put the equation in to many different context. And now I have found that I really have a problem with forgiving.

I am always saying, "Oh, that's okay... I understand... Don't worry about it... it's all gravy baby..." and so on and so forth when others apologize to me. And I think I mean it. I mean... I think I have meant it.

But when I stand someone up on a date (plans) or when I forget to check on curriculum for another person, or when I say really nasty things to a loved one... sorry just doesn't ever cut it. I should say- SAYING sorry has never cut it. I don't FEEL forgiven until I can SHOW that I am SORRY. Really, this is what is vain.

I feel bad, so I annoy the one I have hurt with words and over compensations of actions until I feel that they have forgiven me. When really... I am only annoying them until I have forgiven myself.

It's probably not big news to anyone who knows me very well that I am VERY hard on myself. I think everyone is hard on themselves... so really I am no different than most. But I do allow myself to become overwritten with guilt, and I let it effect relationships. I will almost completely detach myself from a friendship if I ever let that person down. I just can't face them!

I know it's a pride thing. Maybe it's me being afraid to be vulnerable (which is an issue too). But I really think it's my new awareness of me. I stink at forgiving myself!

I don't know. what do you think? It sounds and feels a little... umm.. self righteous... or selfish to always be so focused on what I am doing for myself. But I truly think and feel(this is where I sound like Oprah) that not until I can practice what I "preach" in my own life, that I will be able to truly practice real forgiveness (or love for that matter).

It just seems like such a double standard. For me to forgive another and "mean" it, but not to be able to forgive myself. Then do I truly know how to forgive?

It's all you. Give me what you've got.

I did this last year. Here's another...

2007-01-07T18:43:00.000-06:00

* What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?

I went to a Nebraska Texas A&M game. A Nebraska game I have done before... Texas A&M. Nope. It was great. Lots of rich traditions, and some silly ones.

* Did you keep your New Year's resolutions and will you make more for next year?

Not all year long. Just off and on, when it was convenient for me.

* What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?

Play time. I can never get enough of it, and the older I get with more responsibilities.. the fewer and fewer play times I have. Oh, to be a kid again.

* What date from 2005 will remain etched in your memory, and why?

August something. HA! It was the first day at my new job as Children's ministry director, for a great church! It was also the day that I could rejoice in the fact that God know best! I have such a control issue in my relationship with Him, and this whole job interview/process/and getting (excuse my poor grammar) was SO NOT a control issue for me. That was HUGE! A big milestone in my relationship with the Father! I was stressed out about keeping a job at Boys Ranch, and when they told me I was no longer needed... God just made the transition so easy and flawless! Oh, how good it is to serve such a FAITHFUL King!

* What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I kinda answered this in the question above. But lets just say that my biggest achievement was truly letting God be the Lord of my life!

* What was your biggest failure?

My attitude. I hate to let people down. And I don't like it when others don't like me. I get all defensive and pouty and then I get down right sassy.

* What was the best thing you bought?

A HOUSE! A house, a house, a house! A HOOOUUUSSSEEE! (I am singing here people!)

* Where did most of your money go?

Bills, bills and more bills! Clothes, Christmas, shoes, GAS, and travels! Fun stuff!

*Are you happier or sadder compared to this time last year?

Happier. I am no longer wondering where I stand in a job, or feeling like I have to prove myself to a community of 1,000 + people. Luke and I have a great home, new car, old car, adorable puppy, and my best friend and sister in law (same person) is living with us! Not to mention... I LOVE MY JOB! AND Luke and I finally have a church home. If I weren't lazy, I would put that first, but... I'm feeling lazy.

*Are you thinner or fatter?

The EXACT SAME! (FRUSTRATION TO THE MAX!)

* Are you richer or poorer?

Richer in love, does anything else matter? I think not!

* What do you wish you'd done more of?

Keeping up with older friends. Like friends from the past, not old older friends.

* What do you wish you'd done less of?

Spending money. I should just overall be much more wise in that department. HA! Kara made a joke. Get it? Department... as in department store... funny? Funny? Okay. Never mind.

* Did you fall in love in 2005?

Every single day, over and over again!

* What was your favorite TV program?

can I get a "What-What" for some Grey's Anatomy? Anyone? Anyone?

* What was your favorite movie this year?

I don't go to the movies much. But I did see invincible and Facing the Giants! I highly recommend them both. They WILL be in my little movie collection!

* What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Well, let's see... another year of partying all month long. We started out on a Trip with mom and dad to see a Nebraska game at Texas A&M. Then we all came back to Amarillo to start working on the new house. Mom and I painted almost everyday. Dad bought Luke and I some stuff to help us "fix up" the house. Then we had lots of birthday dinners, and ended off with a birthday breakfast! FUN TIMES!

* What one thing would have made your year more satisfying?

I don't wanna say. I don't want to live with any regrets anymore... so why put them down? the past is the past. All I can do now is live in the moment and for the future!

* What political issue/statement stirred you the most?

Rosie vs. Trump Just teasing! I didn't really get stirred politically this year. Now... church stuff... that's a different matter! Not my church, per-say, just churches in general.

* Who did/do you miss?

Xana, Malcolm, Madalyn, mom, dad, Corren, Danny, Leslie, Leah, Ryan, Larry, Eric, Brett, Stacia, and many more!

* Who was the best new person you met?

Ummm... I can't just say one person, so I will say the body of Christ at West Amarillo Christian. :) It's true. I'm not just trying to kiss up here folks. They really are a great family. Luke and I are honored to be a part!

Feel free to comment on how your year went. Let's bless God in our lives and life style this next year... sound good? (Also feel free to copy and paste and do it on your blog. I think these things are fun to read!)

Hmmm... not sure what to think!

2007-01-07T18:32:00.000-06:00

Your results:
You are Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman		70%
The Flash		70%
Green Lantern		70%
Superman		65%
Supergirl		60%
Spider-Man		50%
Robin		50%
Catwoman		35%
Iron Man		30%
Hulk		25%
Batman		10%

You are a beautiful princess
with great strength of character.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Besides the out-fit... I think it would be a fun job. Hey... maybe I AM a modernday woder woman. I fight crime and rescue people! Maybe I should work on being a humble modern day wonder woman. We'll see.

Christmas picture 2006

2007-01-05T00:58:00.000-06:00

Me and the in-laws on Christmas evening after dinner and while everyone took turns to open presents!

My brother Hershel and his really sweet girlfriend Michelle! Luke and I got to met her for the first time and we really liked her. She's a keeper Hersh! I really enjoyed meting her, and she's funny too. She fits right in with the fam!

The cutest and sweetest girl in the whole wide world!

My mom made these "halos" for the kids program at her church. Everyone got their pictures take wearing them. Here's me a Uncle Ookie!

HEY! Look at the post below this! It's a new one too! :)

Nebraska Game

2007-01-05T00:38:00.000-06:00

So, back in November, around the 11th or so... Luke and I took a trip with mom and dad. IT....... WAS......... AWESOME! We had a blast!

To know my husband it to know that he is a hard core Nebraska fan. Mom and Dad know this (because they know my husband) and when they tried to take us to a Nebraska game in '04, Nebraska got KILLED by Texas Tech. Not a fun game to watch! Not a fun game to watch Luke watch!!!!!

So we went to see Nebraska play in '06 Brian/College Station. Yes, that's right folks. We went to Texas A&M. It was great fun! Saw cousins, saw a GREAT GAME, saw the Aggie band march, and the best part was watching Luke watch Nebraska win by one stinkn' point! GOOOO BIIIGGGG REEEEDDDDDDD!

So here are some fun pictures! I love the memory! IT is by far the best trip of '06... oh wait. The best trip until Christmas time. Those pictures are next. (HAPPY NEW YEAR)

And here's the rest!

2006-11-25T18:15:00.000-06:00

YAY! Thanks for playing! (and here's another room)

2006-10-30T23:17:00.000-06:00

Well one of you is right... but there might be some cheating going on. I don't really want to say who is right because I don't want scary stalker people to know where I will be living... but if I ever see you in person, I WILL tell you the name of the street I live on. :)

Thanks for playing my game!

Here is the first bedroom! In the hallway picture it is the first door on the left, which is across the street (hall) from the bathroom in the previous post. There aren't too many pictures tonight (sorry) but this will more than likely be the room that my best friend/sister-in-law will be living in! (YAY!)

Here's the room:

yup.. another room!

2006-10-29T23:48:00.000-06:00

Here is bathroom #1!

I threw in a picture of Maddie... we're coloring her orange tomorrow for Halloween... so I will make sure to post a picture of that too!

Uumm... there have been no guesses on the name of our new street. Get on it people! Look two posts ago for the hints... and guess already!

Another Day, Another Room

2006-10-28T17:14:00.000-05:00

Here is the living room!

Stay tuned....

House Pictures

2006-10-27T23:13:00.001-05:00

Okay... I am going to give some pictures of the house that is soon to be ours! But there are a few terms and conditions that you must adhere to.

1. Know that is our future house that we will take pride in updating and putting many a weekends of blood, sweat and tears into.

2. Some of these pictures are strictly on here for the parents. I have talked a lot about different things with my Mom and Dad, and they have never seen this place. SO, when you see random pictures of just the light/fan fixtures... those are for the parents.

3. Have a little patience! I am featuring a different room/location each day. But today is special, so we will see the front of the house and the kitchen!

The coolest thing about the house is it's street name. But, for stalker reasons, I will not post the name. You are more than welcome to try and guess the name. Here's a hint... I will always feel like I am "home." Okay, that's a hard hint, so I'll give you another... my friends Lewis and Clark were said to have started the trend that paved "this" way.

Guess away!

House Party!

2006-10-18T22:41:00.000-05:00

Remember that movie? And then the trillion sequels? Yeah... those were the days.

I was going to title this "The House is on Fire"... but then I remembered the song was actually titled, "The ROOF is on Fire." Then I remembered the bad words, and so I decided against it. It deserved an honorable mention though. THe song, not the bad words.

SOOOOOOOO... on with the real reason for the post.

Luke and I are going to sign a contract for a HOUSE! Yup! It's truth! We're gonna live in a house (said with a Congo-line emphasis!)! Yeah. We are so excited! I love everything about the house except for the kitchen. But it's a fixer-upper (on purpose) and maybe we can fixer upper that part too! Make it more Kara friendly. (That means... where I can visit with others and cook at the same time. OTherwise Kara doesn't do the cooking and we all starve.) (Not really. Luke is an awesome cook!) (ok, I'm done with he parenthesis now).

Before I go... your all invited to a house party. But Kid and Play will not be attending. There's not enough room in my almost new house for the hair.

Later Gaters!

Air One

2006-10-17T21:26:00.000-05:00

Soo... this is a small little shout out to my friend via the internet.

It's weird-o-head how I knew her before I met her. Blogs are strange. And when we got the chance to meet, I was all rushed and weirded out by my fast trip to the Northwest. But I digress.

I know many of you aren't fans of Christian Rock... but I am a faithful listener to a radio station that does play said music. It is called Air One. And EVERY STINKN' TIME I hear the words "Air One" together... I think of Arwen. So I think of Arwen many times a day. Maybe this is a stalking situation that I should go to counseling over... but I have no future plans of moving to Idaho. I also have no desire to invest in spy equipment or even commenting on that lovely blog of hers (just reading). But I do... have a deep need to thank her for the joy she has put into my life with a Weird Al video clip on her blog.

Thank you Air One. Thank you! Every time I "hear" your name, I thank you!

Aaaaaaannnd now I'm done.

Money

2006-10-13T18:43:00.001-05:00

So... Luke was saying how we should save our money. And then I thought, "Saving money is no fun and too much hassel!"

The nest thing out of my mouth was, "Let's just make more!"

So... here's to making more money instead of saving!

Word.

2006-10-07T20:09:00.000-05:00

So... I have nothing to blog about!

Work is going well. I am stressing out over fall festival! I have painted my office and I HATE the yellow that is on three of my walls. The green is cool, but kinda streak-y. The kids are cute and the office staff are fun. The parents are wonderful and very helpful! This makes me happy and it makes my heart smile as well. OH! I ahve a second job, that I LOVE! I am a photographer's assistant! IT's great fun! The photogrpher that I work with takes all of the pictures for the kids Inc. sports teams here in Amarillo. It is too fun! These little tiny soccar players, football players and cheerleaders come in and pose for the camera. They are so sweet. Well... most of them are. What's with 3rd-6th grade boys not being able to keep their hands off of each other! They drive me crazy, slapping eachothers pads and playing tag in out tiny little room! But they're cute, mostly.

Luke is trained to be a canoe and kyak instructor now. He's excited, and my mom is excited becasue now she can fulfill her dream of doing the whole "Paddle Seattle" thing with a son-in-law who can teach her. (I'm not sure Luke's too excited about the Puget Sound paddeling thing, but whatever! Luke is also playing softball on the church team and likes it. He too has a little side job now. He helps clean up and re-arrange the church platform after weekend weddings! A little extrat cash is always nice!

We are trying to find a house! It has been really hard with our different schedules though. So we've looked at more of the outside of houses than any insides. But, one will come. We liked one, put in an offer, and it was already undercontract. BUMMER!

Some way exciting news is that Luke and I, along with my Mommie and Daddie, will be going to the Nebraska football game when they play Texas A&M. We will get to go to the Houston area, and maybe Luke will meet more family! But we are so EXCITED about the game! (THANKS MOM AND DAD!)

Maddie is big and longing for a yard to run around and play in. She's a big girl now and doesn't have to stay in her box when we leave for work! She still barks when we leave, but she's been great about not tearing up things or going potty on the floor!

OKAY. most boring post ever. if you didn't make it to the end, it's okay. we're still friends. xana... this post is for you. i have a feeling that you are probably the only one who made it to the end. thank you and i love you!

Ain't Nothin Gonna Hold Me Down, Oh No, I Got To Keep On Movin'

2006-08-29T15:23:00.000-05:00

I love songs! Anyone know who sings that one? I can't quite place 'em.

So I like this living and working in the same town business. I live close enough to the church to go home for lunch and play with my puppy. That is awesome! And, if there is extra time in my lunch break... I can run errands. Everything is still open when I get home too! I also don't have to plan out everything I need to get for supplies and stuff, cuz if I forget, I can just go back a little later! None of this driving 40 min. to go to one store anymore! It's good. It's real good.

So, a little school update. Not going back for ANOTHER semester. It just seems like it will never end. Before I got married, I really could have cared less if I ever graduated. I just didn't care that much. I knew my mom and dad wanted me to, so I figured I'd eventually do it to get them off my back (no offense mom and dad)! But then when I got married and went back to school, I was so much more focused and driven! I think it was because I was no longer distracted with my love life. But that's just a theory. It could have also been that I knew NO ONE so there was no friends and hanging out stuff to distract me.

But now I sit with less than one year to finish, and that's killing me slowly inside. I NEVER thought I would care so much! I guess I just never really thought I would actually graduate, so I never really stressed about it ever happening. But I can SEE the light at the end of the college tunnel! AND I'M JUST SITTING! I am looking into taking at least one class, but it's not looking very promising.

So there's a little positive and a little not so positive from Kara's world. I hope to have stories and intriguing debate topics in the near future. Something a little more spicy and interesting than a play by play of my little life.

Later Gator.

Home and Love Stuff

2006-08-16T22:01:00.000-05:00

So, I got the job. I am now the official, unofficial Children's Minister (Pastor) at the West Amarillo Christian Church. The congregation has to give me a thumbs up before I am just the official Children's Pastor... Director... Minister. Yeah, I should probably figure out what it is that they will call me. Kara Deal is fine for now.

Speaking of Kara Deal. I have been Kara Deal for two years now. August 14 was our anniversary! We went to Dallas and stayed with my wicked cool cousin. We laid by the pool, swam in the pool, ate some great junk food, drank some great pop, and then got all dressed up for Luke's cousin's wedding. It was a really great thing to do on our anniversary! The whole wedding was very touching and romantical. It reminded us of our vows exactly two years ago and the couple that just got married wrote their own vows to each other. It touched me when London, the bride, said that she wanted to find a way to serve her husband everyday of their lives together. WOW! What a slap in my face about how much I take Luke for granted and become so wrapped up in what I need and what I'm not getting! If I worked more on shifting my focus to serving him, then everything else would just fall into place. Luke said there was some things that he was reminded of and grateful for hearing too... but I'm not sure I'm suppose to put them in the blog. So... sorry, not gonna say.

I could take time to write out a whole bunch of mushy stuff here and go on and on about how I love my Lukie, but the words would never compare or express my love for him. Words just fall short when compared to what my heart beats. So I won't even attempt to try. But I do promise to live what my heart cries. And I will honor and respect my Luke for another year, and another, and another, and another!

Peace be with you, and PRAISE THE LORD for His continued Faithfulness!

YAY! I like War-shing-tun!

2006-08-05T15:11:00.000-05:00

So... I am visiting my mommy and daddy here in Vancouver, Washington. They are fun people. I like them. I was sick my first two day here... that was not fun. I did not like that. But now I am well and mom and I have swam (played) sufficiently. Her and I are both prominent Otters in that personality test where they describe you as an animal. Otters we are and Otters we'll stay.

The wedding was purdy. The bride was purdy. They got married. All is good in the world of the Deal/Goodwin families.

The drive home with the in-laws was... Insightful and fun. I sure do like my mother-in-law! She's great! I have always loved my Danny... we've been best friends longer than I've loved her brother! And that Father-in-law of mine is still one of the greatest guys I know! He just makes me feel silly, even in the odd occurrences when I'm not actually trying to be silly! It's great fun!

I am on my mommie's computer and she has pictures I like, so I am posting pictures I like from her computer. Lots of my dear sweet niece Madalyn. Some of my wedding... others of Lukie. Just ones that I fancy. Here you go!

I didn't get to wedding. Will do next time!

"I'm leaving... on a jet plane..."

2006-07-23T19:15:00.000-05:00

Don't know when I'll be back again!

So... Luke and I are off to CANADA! See you later. Maybe I'll have pictures... maybe not. We'll see!

Lovies, Kara

oooh, oooh, I know! I know! Pick me! Pick me!

2006-07-18T11:18:00.000-05:00

So, guys and gals, Kara Deal knows what comes next! I have a praise report! I have a praise report! (type singing... gotta love it!)

So school is a definite now! I am within 20 (give or take a few... there's new rules or something) credits of having that sweet little diploma in my hand. YES (think Napoleon here)!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAND... I might be the next, um no, the FIRST Children's minister at West Amarillo Christian Church! They are only looking for a part timer right now, and what do you know???? I'M a college student looking for a part time job.

Luke and I had lunch with the minister last Sunday and then he and his wife showed us around the building and such! It was some stinkn' good times! They are interested in me, and I in them. We just haven't had an official interview yet! That's to come this next weekend some time. Luke and I also want to ATTEND a Sunday service too... before we make that huge of a commitment! But thinks look purdy, I must say!

YAY GOD! Let's give the GREAT man upstairs three GREAT cheers!

Hip, hip.... Hooray!
Hip, hip.... Hooray
Hip, hip.... HOORAY!

Thanks for being so wonderful to me dear friends. It's great to have so much encouragement and perspective given via the internet! You guys are the bomb-diggity!

So... what's next?

2006-07-12T23:28:00.000-05:00

I dunno!

I got news today about the position I applied and interviewed for... you know... the on going saga. Well, after being told that there wouldn't be a decision for a few weeks, EXACTLY one week later I was told that I was not going to be the next Youth Chaplain. Not too surprising for me. I kinda knew it was coming. I have mixed emotions right now. I actually feel like two different people live inside my head and they are duking it out!

There's the, what I like to call "Kingdom insightful" side of me that is fine with the rejection. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God is taking care of my babies. That the man who got the position is just what the Kingdom needs for ministry and God's faithfulness to be unleashed out at the ranch! I know that my season of ministry is over. I know that there is something great in store for Luke and I in the near future And Know that God will take care of me.

Then there's that "me" side. The flesh. The doubter. The insecure. The side that says, "No one is even going to miss you, Kara. None of the kids care that you are crying yourself to sleep over the thought of not being at the ranch anymore. They are all use to people quitting on them, and what are you doing? You BIG FAT... QUITTER!"

I guess that's the hardest part. I'm not quitting, and I wasn't fired. My job is just over. There isn't anything left for me to do, and all of the new chapel staff is hired... so they can take care of all the stuff I was so busy doing the last 15 months. I just don't fell needed anymore, and that feeling sucks!

So... what's next?

I dunno!

Mommy and Daddy?

2006-07-09T00:14:00.000-05:00

Titles are lame... just thought I'd put that out there!

Luke and I are house sitting for some great people out at the ranch for five or so days, and there happens to be two girls in the house as well (That's a teen friendly way of saying that we are baby sitting a Jr. Higher and high schooler). It's been fun, thus far. We have all been really busy and have barely seen each other... so I guess we're like a normal family with teenagers! We did go see cars tonight. That was fun... I really enjoyed it. It's been FOREVER since I have seen a movie in the theatre. I HATE it when people eat their popcorn like cows... all loud and nasty! But I got over my issues and eventually enjoyed myself!

So... as many of you know, I had my interview this week. It went well. My boss was really nice to me and made me feel at ease and such. There is like this small percentage of me that doesn't think I'm going to get the job. It just didn't seem like a perfect fit. This makes me royally sad, but I am glad that myself can be honest with myself. This helps me prepare for rejection. And if I , in the end, get the job... that will just be a huge blessing. But I really don't think I'm going to get it. They are looking for someone with more experience in the technical field. I have 0 (that's a zero).

So... I will let ya'll know the out come, but he said it would be a few more weeks.

Thanks for all your prayers, and if you feel up to it... keep on praying! I believe that God has already been faithful... now all I can do is wait!

Love to all,
Kara Kay

Update #2

2006-06-25T14:11:00.000-05:00

Hey guys! Thanks for your sweet words and for your prayers! I have an interview on July 5th for the Youth Minister/Chaplian position... continued prayers would be just dandy! If you could pray for my stress level and for calming nerves, and that I just remain MYSELF instead of answering every question just to get the job. You know what I mean? There is a fine line of difference there!

And as far as posting goes... I am going to be in my second week of church camp thise nest five days... so no posts or comments from me!

Love you all, and PRAISE GOD for fellow believers and sisters who are willing and ready to get on their knees for eachother!

I love each of you dearly!

Update

2006-06-15T14:44:00.000-05:00

Okay. So I am going to be open and honest about some stuff going on here, at the risk of feeling extremely vulnerable. Not a fun feeling! Especially for a control freak.

I have been working in a job that I love for a little over a year. Spending time with kids who have been voluntarily given up by their parents. They also come from home situations where morals and values lack, and where chaos is the norm. I don't just spend time with them, but try to give them a glimpse of the peace God offers and the acceptance He offers that they so desperately look for in EVERY OTHER avenue of their lives.

I have been just and "intern" for this year. I had spent a time trying to prove myself to the higher ups and in the process I started to feel entitled to a Chaplain position... only to be CRUSHED when they passed me over when filling that particular position. My lesson was learned, as I fought through the feelings of quitting and leaving them high and dry, with out MY help and MY knowledge, and MY blah, blah, blah.

Wait just a minute!!!

It wasn't ME, at all! It was God all along and he only blessed ME, by choosing to use ME. And if I got in the way, and sought credit and felt initialed, God would only choose to use someone else... not ME! Let's face it! As soon as I decided to make it about me, God was no longer glorified and I wasn't use-able anymore!

So as soon as I understood that God knows my heart, and knows better than I... I was able to see how He had only protected me from a job that would have probably killed me! Being the Christian Education Chaplian... IS NOT THE JOB FOR ME! I see this now.

Now... there is another Chaplian job open. This one is a Youth Minister position. Full time, good pay, I qualify for the position, and there have already been some who have interviewed. I turned in a resume, out of what I think is faithfulness. But I can't help but feel... what's the word... scared. My flesh wants so desperately to guard my heart and just accept defeat, even when defeat might not be the out come. But I also don't want to spend a good part of my life wondering "what if?"

So, I plead for prayers. I covet your prayers. Please, please pray that God's will is done in this small little community called Boys Ranch, Texas. But please... MORE importantly, and even more selfishly, please pray that my heart is prepared and ready for ANY answer!

I want this SO BAD! But I don't want to want it because I feel I deserve it! Does that make sense? I want those precious little kids, and those precious little souls to have what is best for them! And only God knows who that is! I am just so scared that I won't be alba to take His answer! And I am scared that I don't have enough faith!

PLEASE... Just pray!

And know that I pray too... for you! Prayer doesn't change God... it changes us! (Ok, that last statement was a little random and had nothing to do with this post... but it's true, nonetheless! We'll save that explination for another date!)

2 Things

2006-05-27T16:01:00.000-05:00

1. V.B.S. starts on Tuesday... please pray all goes well. That kids have fun, learn about Jesus and God is glorified!

2. There are some pretty weird people out there.

You may be saying, "DUH Kara!" to yourself right now, but there IS more to this story. Yes, weird is relative. It all depends on how YOU see normal...blah, blah, blah! That's not what I'm debating and this paragraph isn't helping me get to my point so I'm going to start a different one.

This past week I was going to town with a co-worker to shop for VBS. We were talking and her two (out of 4) girls were sitting in the back of the van with their ears PLASTERED to the speakers. I thought it was kinda weird, but I just thought, "Maybe they don't get out much." Well... the radio was tuned to the Christian station... Air1... maybe you've heard it yourself? It's KLove's sister station that is suppose to play more teenage/rock/punk stuff. Luke and I listen to it now and then... but that's besides the point.

My co-worker was like, "Oh, their Dad doesn't like the beat to these songs, so they aren't allowed to listen to the radio. I let them soak up as much as possible when ever we're on a town trip with out him. And because he doesn't like the beat to most tunes, I find myself not listening to any music in the house either. So the girls and I both listen music when ever he's not around."

WHAT! This is Christian music folks. Not 50 Cent and not Aerosmith!! Nor is it Lead Zeplan or Merlin Manson (sp?). Christian music! Yeah, maybe Christan rock lacks a little... shall we say flavor??... but... ummm... the words and meaning are about God and glorifying Him!

So I'm from the school of, "I'd rather them be listening to this kind of music than that other stuff the secular stations are playing." When I was a teenager, I remember trying to defend the "secular" music I listened to by saying, "I only like the beat. I don't listen to the words." And such.

But this family is backwards! Their Father doesn't want them listening to MUSIC... because he thinks the beats in the music are "meant to pull out sinful emotions." That's a direct quote folks!

Don't you think that's weird? I will admit that it's weird to me because I don't understand it! He has his reasons, and it's his family... therefore, it's his right. But I STILL find it rather WEIRD!

Let's hear it for the boy!

2006-05-19T20:29:00.000-05:00

YES that is a song. From the movie Foot Lose I believe.

Okay... do you remember that Friends episode where Monica and Chandler decide to move in together, Rachel has to move out and in the process her and Monica start fighting. Then Phebs says she doesn't want to live with Rachel anymore because Monica and Rachel are so mean to each other. So Monica starts rambling out all of the reasons why Rachel IS a good roomie... and at the end Monica says, "And I have to live with a boooooooooy!" while crying and sad.

Okay, not everyday is fun living with a boy... like HIS definition of clean vs. MY definition of clean. But the rest of it is just great stuff! Eating together, laughing together and shopping with each other. I really enjoy every moment we spend together! He is my very best friend and even if we weren't married and vowed to be by each others side, I'd still spend every single second I could with him!

Today we cleaned the house together and it was the best time ever! We relaxed after wards, then we went and helped some friends who are building a house. Then we waited for his brother and friend to come and hang out for the weekend. Just normal... every day stuff. And I had a blast.

I know marriage is hard and it's one of those things you have to work at EVERY SINGLE DAY. And I know and understand the realities of life. What you love and hold dear to you can be gone in a flash. Whether it's death or someone gone missing (like the Natalie Holloway story) or the news that what you thought was greatness and joy in your life, ended up being a lie. Like divorce, cheating, or money fights.

So... I say all of this to simply say. I love my boy. I love my Lukie. I love living with him. I love laughing with him. And I will forever love all of our days together, living like we have no more! Not that we're planning on NOT being here... we just want to rest in the joy and peace of what God's given us today.

Here are some great pictures of my Lukie. May you rest in the joy and peace that God has given you today... no matter your circumstance!

Blogging and commenting... it's a wonder, ain't it!

2006-05-14T16:53:00.000-05:00

So, this blogging thing is kinda weirding me out. The more people I "run into" in the blogging world that I know/have known/use to know/blah, blah, blah. The more I struggle with what to write. Should I give a play by play? Should I spend the day surfing the net to find odd and random subjects and pictures to discuss and post? Should I just write poems? Should I write stories? Should I take a billion and one pictures and explain in great detail the significance of the picture as it pertains to my life? Should I use it to talk politics? Should I just whine (sounds like I'm alrady there) about stuff?

AAHHHHHHHGGGGGHHHHHHAA!

And this whole commenting thing! How does on say, "Hey, it's pretty neat that I've found you and your life looks like God's blessing it... why don't you come see what God's done in my life while we've been apart!" Without sounding WAY too needy, WAY too pertinacious, and Way too,"Look at me!, Look at Me!"

THEN you put your little heart out there, leave a comment and wait for a reply......... and wait for a reply..... and wait for a reply! Only to feel snubbed and like the outsider of the "cool group" (think junior high)! MAN! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYY to many mind games for me!

The worst part is when you see a "friend" write on someone else's blog and never even acknowledged you! Can't...get...the......knife....out!

I know! I know! This has NOTHING to do with blogging and commenting and EVERYTHING to do with my own insecurities... but I think there should at least be a "polite comment" rule. One where you say, "Hey! Glad you found me! Nice to hear from you! Now we can check in on each other, be friends, and never have to call/write/see each other!"

Wouldn't that be nice? I like nice.

So.... I'm going to work on my own issues, and you (the reader... if I have anymore after this) do what you will.

In OTHER news... a while back (Luke's birthday 4-3) we got a new car! Brand spankn' new! I was in the midst of a blogging strike, then Mom had a birthday, and now I am sharing the news! We LOVE it, and it has blessed our life so much! Luke and I were beginning to wonder how being a one car family was going to work out... don't have to think about it any more! YAY God!

I'll post a picture later.

Until then.. happy blogging and commenting (if you choose to do so)!

p.s. Ty... how in the jeepers do I get that sarcastic mark to work? I tried it many, many times on this post! You can see for yourself how well it worked! HELP ME!

Mommie

2006-04-27T12:35:00.000-05:00

I work with kids, everyday, who come from homes where their families have stomped on them in one way or another. These kids have crushed spirits, and struggle with whether or not they still have value. It strikes such a cord with me in how important family... no... a LOVING, CARING, and CHRIST CENTERED family is to the development and success of a child.

My Mom had a birthday yesterday. My Mom is a HUGE part of the reason why I am what I am today. Not only am I blessed with her personality, but I also have her heart. Her heart for kids. She taught me SO MUCH, and I rarely ever gave her credit! The way she would interact with the teens in the youth group, like being funny and silly, but at the same time revealing her mother's heart and how deeply she cared for every single girl. She was always at my basketball games, volleyball games, singing events, band concerts, plays, dance recitals, and youth group... everythings!

I remember the first summer mission trip I went on, to South Lake Tahoe, my Mom was going too. I remember telling her that when we were on the trip, she wasn't my mom. I would call her Kay, just like all of the other girls, and she would have to like it. (Yes, I am still that bossy.) She was very cool about it, even though I could tell she was trying to hide how she was really rather annoyed with me. Day one of the trip, I was trying her patience with, "Kay this" and, "Kay that." But by the end of the trip... she was my Mother again. It just didn't feel right, calling her Kay. She was my Mom. AND a COOL Mom at that! I was proud of her, I was proud of being her daughter... and the foolishness of calling my mom Kay, faded.

One of my favorite memories is shopping with her. You may be surprised at what part of this experience is may favorite. It wasn't the 30 min. drive to Clackamas mall where we'd either listen to fun music (like Shoop) or talk about boys and such. Mom and I always likes to analyze why I liked and dated the boys I did. (We still do this! Fun stuff!)

And it wasn't the actual trying on and buying of the clothes that was my favorite part of shopping, even though it was always fun. And it wasn't eating at the food court, me with the veggie alfredo and her with a chick-fil-a or corn dog and lemonade. It was how we would hold hands and talk when walking in the mall, from shop to shop. I was 15 - 22 years old, STILL holding hands with my Mommie! Not embarrassed and not annoyed. I was usually the one to reach for her hand first. It was always safe, always natural, and always right!

I gave my Mom fits, and I know I also made her proud. But I don't ever think I ever made a point of telling her how instrumental she was in me becoming the woman I am today. I hope to make her proud and I hope to make her legacy a lasting one! A legacy of fun, silliness, caring, nurturing, and listening. But most importantly, a legacy of letting Christ be the Lord of your life and trusting that He will take care of you.

Mom still impresses me. She has been living beyond herself these days and allowing the spirit to work through her by stretching her comfort zone. She's had a few different... let's call them... speaking engagements, where I know God has blessed the lives of others by her willingness to share and be stretched. And intern, God has blessed my Mother with confidence in Christ.

She is one of my very best friends. Still so fun to hang out with and talk to on the phone. And still so caring and nurturing, always having me and Suzanne's best interest at heart. Mom never tried to crush our spirit and she ALWAYS made sure we knew we had value and a place that was comfortable... a home!

The greatest gift Mom gave to me, was an example of how to love, honor and obey my husband out of reverence for God!

I love you Mommie! Happy Birthday!

Love, Kakers