When it rains...

It STINKN' Pours!

I don't know why. I don't know how! I don't know when! But we ticked someone or something off, hard core, and now it's all falling in our lap!

It is STRESSFUL! With Lilly's head size thing looming over us and always in the back of our minds. With the loss of the cell phone and other "bad me" stuff that goes on with that. With trying to pay for getting to Washington, Lilly's head thing, actual Christmas and Lilly's first birthday! With realizing that we can not afford to live on a salary and a half and with the need for daycare. With my health always an issue (it seems) and paying for this, paying for that and still needing _______! I am just at my whits end!

Ever fell like you wish you could trade lives with someone, just for a day, or even an hour or two!?!?! I just want a break! Away from the worry. Away from the money (or lack there of) and away from the dumb mistakes that I made in the past that are right in my face every where I look!

I'm just having a day. Scratch that. I am having a MONTH! I don't feel very jolly and I don't feel very thankful. It's the truth. It's the raw, not so great to hear, not so great to share, not so great to realize... TRUTH!

I want to quit! I want to go to bed, pull the covers over my head and sleep. I don't really want anything else but sleep!

Fill me, somehow, O Lord with You. God, I want to want you! Please take away everything that is my selfish flesh and God, please fill me with You. Help us, oh, God! Hear your servants cry! Let us see the joy, let us have the spirit of thanks giving. Let us have Your love! But most of all Lord, I pray for Your peace. Please bless us with Your peace, so that we may be about Kingdom business, and not our own ways. Lift this burden and let us see the things of eternal value! We love you! AMEN.