10 YEARS!

So I am off a week from today to Washington! I am going to my 10 year high school reunion and I am pumped! I have been looking forward to this for a few months now and it is getting closer and I am getting a little scared.

I was a weird-o head in high school. Not much has changed, really. But I spent most of my high school years trying to grow up, be like this person, act like that person, and date this person. I was never really into me. I didn't really like Kara. but now I know it's because Kara was always trying to be someone else.

Now that I am more secure in who I am in Christ, and now that I actually like hanging out with me, can laugh at myself, and feel very comfortable with discussing my short comings AND successes with others... I am a completely different kind of weird-o head!

I'm just a little scared that everyone will remember me like how I was and not give me a chance to show them how I am. At least I can make sure I give others the chance to show me and tell me who they are now. I know I have changed a ton so I am interested in seeing how much my closest friends have changed. Particularly this one individual... but I'm not brave enough to name names.

When I tell my older friends here that I am going to my high school reunion, they all tell me that it's great fun seeing how the popular girls got fat and the popular guys are now blading. It makes me giggle and it will be interesting to see if that is all true at my reunion, but that's not why I'm going. I hope Janelle (who I always thought was the most beautiful) still has her tiny shape and I hope Ryan still has a full head of hair. If they don't, that's fine too, but I'm not sure I'll get a huge ego boost out of it all. I am going to see old boyfriends and crushes and to see the women they married, and I hope to find new friendships in these women. I really hope they all married women who treat them well, and that they are still trying to serve God.

Ok. Here's the part where I become human. I am also going because a part of me wants this one individual to be exactly the same! Someone who looks like they have it all together on the outside, but is desperately trying to hold on to everything in fear that their "status" would plummet. But this person could have changed. I have. But there is a REALLY BIG PART OF ME that kinda hopes they haven't.

I know. I am a bad person. But I am being honest.

Here's to changing (and hoping others haven't)! HA!